am i doing the right thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
am i doing the right thing
2
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 12:10pm
i met a guy one evening who wanted to give me a lift to my destination but upon my refusal, he took my cell number and called me later that night. He asked that we have a date the following day after work and I did. He's a gentleman and caring ( I gathered from his manners)and single with a child. He wants to have a serious relationship with me (at the moment I dont know whether it will lead to marriage) but I have a big problem..... He is not good looking at all. I dont know how I can introduce him to family or friends because am shy that they'll definately laugh at me. so I made an excuse of telling him I have a relationship already which is almost 3years. Am I doing the right thing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 12:17pm

He wants to have a serious relationship after only one date?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 12:19am

I agree that suggesting he's interested in having a serious relationship with you is a huge red flag to a bad situation. But, I think there's more here that indicates concern:

  • If you're not interested in him because of his looks, why would you agree to a date in the first place?
  • Why would your family laugh at you for dating an unattractive guy? You indicate it's because you're shy, which doesn't make sense. People don't laugh at shy people, not kind, caring, respectful people anyway. It sounds to me like there's a lot of dysfunction and emotional issues in your life.
  • If what others think about your choice for a boyfriend is that important to you, you may be able to find someone who meets their approval, but it's unlikely that you'll find someone they approve of who's also right for you, after all, it's your relationship and you're the one who has to be happy in it.







  • ~ cl-2nd_life

    "Experience is what you get
    when you don't get what you want."

    ~ Author unknown








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