Am I Really Jealous of my husband?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
Am I Really Jealous of my husband?
7
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 10:14am

Hello everyone,

I am new to this board. I was reading a lot of post and some relate so much towards me. I hope my story don't seem to boring to everyone. But I am truly scorn.

Anyway, my husband I been together for three years. In the beginning of our relationship he made it clear that he had female friends, even with his ex-girlfriend. I didn't see it as an issue. I thought opposite sex can be friends. As time moved on we moved in together after I got pregnant. One Saturday morning he left his phone at home by mistake. I know I was wrong, but I found a text message from his ex. Stating,"How she wanted a one nightstand." I called her and she stated that they didn't have sex in a very long time. But, he asked her could they have sex? And she always declined. She claimed that she knew nothing of me, and thought he was single. I confronted him on this situation and told me he'll stop calling her. Okay I thought this was water under the bridge for us.

Fast forward to March 2010 we got married. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. In June of last year we moved into a bigger house. As I was unpacking his things I found a letter from his "female friend." It was before our time but she stated in the letter that they had sex. I was mortified because he told me that they was just "friends." Then I found text message from her saying "The F'ing best." I confronted him on this and he stated that they we're just friends after they had sex. But what started raising red flags with me is that she'll call three times back to back, if he didn't pick up. I called her and she went off. Claiming how they had sex when I was 9 months pregnant and they spent the whole weekend together. I was completely mortified. But this is the same chick that wanted to come to my baby shower!!! My husband finally confessed that they slept together when I pregnant.

With his ex girlfiend I found they talked even more after I confronted both of them. I found an e-mail she sent to my husband with a half nude picture of her.This all happened when I was pregnant but I didn't found out until months later.

Through all of this drama, I tried marriage counseling to work on our marriage. Things got better for awhile then (August-November 2010) I started to notice on his phone log his "female friend" was calling him again and blocking her number. Again I confronted both of them and me and other woman really got into it.

...Presently, these unknown or unavailable phone calls is showing up again. He playing stupid like he don't know who's calling him. But clearing these conversations on his phone log are for long periods of time.

He's mad at me because he said I'm invading his privacy. I'm overreacting of things from the past. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with him having female friends after all this went down. He's mad at me because again I'm overreacting. Am I??? I think I'm really scorn. I so ready to file for divorce, because I don't trust him. I'm always on the defense side. He feels I'm taking away his friends that he knew before me.

Opinions, thoughts, suggestions please. Sorry for the long post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:28pm

You're not overreacting--you're not trying to take away his "friends."

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 5:40pm

I'm sorry you married a liar. I wish you had more than just a gut instinct before you married him because it would have prevented this. I agree that he's angry because he's defensive that you caught him in a lie.

How sad to be only a year into a marriage and know you've been cheated on and lied to.

I'm glad you're ready to file for divorce because that will be easier now than to live with a liar and a cheat for the rest of your life. Glad you don't have kids by this loser.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 8:08pm

I think she has at least one child because so many of her

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 2:16am

Welcome to the board, Slemon1 ~

I'm sorry you didn't act when your gut instinct proved to be right the first time.

What you have is a man who is continuing contact and almost certainly continuing to cheat.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 8:37am

My bad! Sometimes my reading comprehension isn't so great. Still... I hope she gets rid of this ass.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
Fri, 05-20-2011 - 9:21am

Thanks everyone for your opinions and advice. I do have children. One from a previous relationship and one by my husband. I am making the steps to repair and rebuild my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 3:30am

What steps have you decided to take, Slemon1?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_