Am I really wrong???
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| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 9:41pm |
I think everyone here knows my hubby and I having problems. And I'm sure everyone knows about the arguement we recently had over the weekend at the golf course. I decided to write my hubby a letter of apology. I express my feelings to him in my letter very throughly without any blame. I actually had a friend read my letter to get her opinion and she thought the letter was great. It answered the who, what, why, etc.
When my hubby came home from work, again (just like yesterday), he went golfing. Again we were cordial. But before he left this is how the conversation went:
Me: Did I lose you?
Hubby: No, you didn't lose me, I'm still here (as he opens the door and starts walking out to his car)
Me: I wish you wouldn't walk away as we are talking (following him to the car)
***Hubby then goes back into the house
Me: I want us to get past this. I have something to give you. I have bad penmenship, so please accept this letter (its on a word document)
****I hand him the letter (we are in the computer room) and then I leave giving him time to read it.
***A few minutes later, I hear him say OK. He then goes and sits on the couch.
Me: I just wanted to express my feelings and I'm sorry
Hubby: Ok, I accept your apology...so do I apologize to you to? I'm sorry
Me: No, I didn't want you to apology (thinking he just now missed the whole point of my letter)
Me: I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and I wanted to give this letter to you today because I just want us to get past this. Thank You for reading it.
Hubby: You still don't understand why I am upset? And I'm not ready to talk about it. I have to figure some things out for me. (he says all this while he heads out to his car)
***I guess this is what pisses me off...he talks as he leaves, therefore, I feel left hanging and he does this alot.
Me: I wish you wouldn't walk away as you are talking to me. I just think we are starting to talk and then you leave
Hubby: You don't understand, I'm not ready to talk about it and I don't think I ever will be. I don't think this will ever get resolved. I tried telling you and you don't listen.
Me: Can you please tell me once more why you are upset so I can learn from it. If you aren't ready to talk about it, can you give me a day when you can?
Hubby: I don't know
Me: Will it would be nice if we could set a timeframe because I want to work this out
Hubby: Ok, how about next week at 4:00p.m. after I get off from work (saying this annoyingly)
Me: I just thought we should talk because all we are doing right now is carrying resentment
Hubby: I told you I don't want to talk about it...do you want to start a knock down drag out fight
Me: Of course not. I understand you don't want to talk about it and I need to respect you, please believe me when I say that, however, all I ask is we try and talk. I don't want you to shut me out.
Hubby: **shakes his head
Me: I just don't want to feel shut out because I want to work this out
Hubby: I understand how you feel
Me: Ok. (***thinking he doesn't want to talk and I give up)
I'm trying so hard; I give him a letter of apology that I worked on all afternoon and he STILL tells me I don't understand why he's upset. I tried talking to him so we can talk but I feel he's just shutting me out. By the way, our talk was pretty calm. So, now I'm frustrated and he's out golfing again. This time I didn't let it drag on and on like I usually do. However, I feel I am putting forth the effort. I really am trying but I have no idea what to do.
Edited 7/18/2006 9:52 pm ET by casey0201

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You know before this whole situation began with the golf club, he came home from work and told me he is checked out at work. I'm assuming what he meant by "checked out" is he won't put any more effort that he's doing or he just stopped caring.
I feel I'm putting alot of effort into the marriage however, other people will disagree, which is fine because I'm here to learn the side that I don't see.
Hi,
This is my first post to this thread and I know it's been a few days since anyone has posted to it but after reading every post, I've become very interested in what the outcome of this entire situation was...seeing that it's now 7/27. Did you and your husband make up and get everything out in the open?
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Please check out my other thread called "Would this help?"
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