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Reading through the lines, I was wondering if he was trying to get a rise out of you or to pick a fight, since you've expressed not wanting highlights or your nails done, etc. Then he brought it up again, maybe to get the argument going again. It might be passive-aggressive behavior for whatever reason. I don't know what's been going on in your relationship lately. It's not clear what kind of partner he normally is. Is he kind, respectful, loving, faithful, makes time for you,
Welcome to the board, Charlie_cat09 ~
I didn't get the vibe Blueorchid got, but who knows which of us is right.
In response to your problem of getting him to hear you when you're telling him your feelings, have you tried simply making and keeping direct eye contact and saying to him, "Matt, I need you to listen to me", once you know you have his attention, continue.
I agree with Peaceyma and would take it further to say that he seems to be trying to force you to be something you are not and acting like that is perfectly normal and you have no right to say anything about it.
My 2nd ex H had this thing about gray hair--now mind you we were in our 40's when we got married so if I didn't dye my hair there would be a lot of gray.
The 5 Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman is also a good book.
This post said it perfectly...! OP if you follow harmony's advice I think you will get to the root of the issue, and you will ultimately discover whether or not your boyfriend are compatible in this area.