Away from home and having anxiety

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Away from home and having anxiety
Sat, 06-21-2003 - 3:02am
I just recently moved in with my fiancee. He's in the Navy and because of school I stayed where we met and came out here for the summer. I left everything behind. My family, friends, pets, my job. I can't seem to find work out here. No one is hiring. I basically have nothing to do all day. I clean, I go shopping (grocery and window =P ) I find myself getting anxiety. I've been to the doctor about it (still waiting for blood test results)the doctor said the anxiety seems to be due to the situation. My problem is, I am having a lot of trouble being happy here because I am not doing anything. I love my fiancee so much. I find myself getting really mad at him for stupid little things because I have nothing else to do. He'll come home from work and he'll ask me to fix him something to eat...I'll agree and I find myself crying while I'm making his food. My parents are coming out next week to visit, so that should help. My question is: What do I do to pass the time and let my anger out?! I've tried the gym, shopping etc. I find I can't stick with it. Maybe thats the prob.... Anyways, any suggestions on how to better my mental health would be greatly appreciated!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 1:15am
Find something you can do, and stick with it! I am sure there has to be atleast one place hiring, and I am sure someone would hire you. You would have something to do, feel better about yourself, and have more money to contribute to the household as well as do some more shopping with. It would also help you to meet other people. Go to the gym and sign up for a class. Talk to some of the women at the gym so you can get a bigger social life and have someone to talk to. You are miserable because you have no life at this point except for your fiance. It's always hard to uproot your life, but you can make it easier by continuing to be YOU and doing the things that you love to do. If nothing you do makes the situation any better, perhaps you could go talk to someone about it? You could be depressed and that is why you are stuck in this rut, and don't have motivation to start living your *new* life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 10:06am
Hi Cat: It's hard to relocate sometimes. I'm terrible at it. But don't lock yourself away in the house. Get out and about. Join a fitness club or walk in the park everyday. Join some crafts classes or join a bowling league or a tennis team or a gardening club. Volunteer at a school or hospital. Meet your neighbors. Make a routine for yourself. Have a coffee at Starbuck's every morning. Continue job hunting. Have lunch with your DH regularly. Explore your town. Find things to do with your DH when he's off.

In other words, stay busy and put yourself in situations to meet people. Relocations are very stressful, but you can also turn it around and look at it as a world of new opportunities. Get yourself some new pets. If you can't have a cat or dog where you are, get a guinea pig or a rabbit or a hamster or a bird. Volunteer at the animal shelter.

Open the door to your new world and see what it has to offer. I know it's hard right now because you're grieving for what you left behind, but don't grieve to the point of depression. You old home is still there. You can go back anytime. Give your new home a chance to grow on you by moving out into your community and becoming part of it.