Bars...a waste!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Bars...a waste!
9
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 1:35pm

My boyfriend has single guy friends who go out to the bars a lot like weekly and are always nagging him to go. I really don't like him going because all of the guys that go are single and a lot of them are mean and rude to him but he talks to them anyway. Also I get stuck at home bored or felt left out or uncomfortable because my friends are busy. My BF doesn't really like the bar that much anyway and we're always too broke to go. I'm just getting tired of them constantly nagging I feel like he's being peer pressured into going and it makes me uncomfortable. If a guy is married or taken I don't think he should be going to the bar that much anyway, I think it's perfectly fine for single people unless both of you go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 1:51pm

I think you're completely unreasonable.

Just because you feel like bars are a waste doesn't mean you have the right to inflict your beliefs on him. He is not your child, he is an adult, and if he's faithful to you, then none of this should be a big deal. If you are uncomfortable, that is your problem, not his. If your boyfriend actually goes out to the bar weekly with his friends, then you can find something else to do. If your friends are always too busy for you, then maybe you're not the greatest judge of what constitutes a "friend" to be making judgments about his.

Find a way to get over it. Making rules for your partner is a really bad way to handle a relationship. You say nothing about how your boyfriend treats you (good or bad), only that you don't like his friends. Sorry but that's not your business. If you don't like your boyfriend or the life he lives, break up with him. Otherwise, learn to deal. His relationship with his friends has nothing to do with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 2:44pm

I do wonder why if these so called friends are mean & rude, that your BF is still friends w/ them, but that's really his problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 3:41pm

Well his friends go to the bars to get drunk and look at girls because they are single. He doesn't really need to be a "wingman" when he's in a dedicated relationship and he gets sick when he has too many to drink and they give him crap for it, they do however invite me but neither one of us really enjoy going that much. Also, I hang with my friends when my bf is busy, otherwise we hang out with friends together or do stuff together. I don't like taking away time from our time together because between work and school we don't get to do much and so when we're both not busy we like to be with each other and taking time away from that hurts sometimes. My friends are all in college and work so it's hard to find times to hang out with my friends, so we hang out with his friends mostly but when I can hang out with my friends it happens when my bf is busy or at work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 4:03pm

I have yet to understand what the problem is. You just say "no thanks" and don't go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 4:50pm

I guess if he doesn't enjoy going, then he can just say no then.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 1:33am
I'm wondering what your purpose in posting was, Stephanien? You didn't ask for thoughts or opinions, you haven't asked for help or advice, you merely made a statement. Are you just looking for somewhere to post your thoughts or are you wanting something here?

~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 8:10am

It seems like your relationship with this man has been riddled with issues that were not addressed and you moved in with him anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 12:50pm

Nobody, single or married, needs to go sit in a bar on a weekly basis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 01-29-2012 - 2:29am
undercovercrab wrote:

I think you're completely unreasonable.

Just because you feel like bars are a waste doesn't mean you have the right to inflict your beliefs on him....