BF and his best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
BF and his best friend
8
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 10:53am

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 11:21am

I think you both should go. It's his best friend. If the fiancée decides to create a scene, it will be pretty obvious that she's instigating trouble and then Z will understand the next time when you have to decline an invitation to be near her.

If you don't go, you should be truthful with Z in a respectful way without trashing his girl. Your boyfriend should say something like: "we would both really like to be there, but after the recent drama over texting, it doesn't seem like a good idea. We're both really uncomfortable with the amount of conflict."

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 11:39am

Thanks for the quick reply. Actually, my BF has already told Z that we are uncomfortable with the amount of conflict- but Z persists. She's created drama before ( not with me, but my BF over other things)

The other problem is - Unfortunately, I am seen by all the guys in the group as the "hot one" and I only know this because she herself told me that when we first met. I thought it was weird that she said that to me, and now its just turned into jealousy because Z visits us almost every other day, and she's finding excuses to keep him away. It sucks because I love my man ( we have marriage plans) and have eyes only for him. Its VERY uncomfortable. My BF has been tempted to lash out at her but I keep holding him back out of respect for Z.

In my head - I REALLY would prefer not to go, but I do see yor point - if she creates a scene, maybe he'll see her true colors first hand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 11:55am

I definitely understand you. I would never tell him he can't go to the party himself (and I know you are a reasonable person too). But if you don't want to attend, I don't think anyone could really blame you.

This drama is not your fault and if Z is unable to stand up for himself and his friendships, then unfortunately, he is going to lose his friendships. It is sad, but if this crazy girl has decided to make life hell for you, then there isn't anything you can do except avoid her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 11:57am
Also, not to mention - both my BF and I steer clear of conflict. as much as possible. We are both as anti-drama as it can get, which is the biggest reason we dislike her . She is the biggest DQ we've ever met e.g the kind of person who would raise hell if her wine wasn't the right temperature..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 12:00pm
:) thanks! This truly sucks :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 1:44pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 4:20pm
Thanks. I just don't want my BF to feel as tho he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. She's started drama at her own parties many many times. I'm scared if she does that this time, my BF will probably be very vocal about his opinion of her to his friend....and I wonder if that'll ruin their friendship. Which would suck because they are both wonderful people. Ugh :( Why do some women have to be like that.....is it insecurity?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 7:30pm
Sounds like she does it to be the center of attention. Some people don't care if it's negative attention as long as it's attention.