BF Dating Site Profile

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
BF Dating Site Profile
Mon, 11-04-2013 - 11:35pm

My boyfriend has a dating site profile I did not know about. He was checking his email in front of me and email from the site came up in his inbox saying he had new matches. I did not say anything at the time, part of me was in shock I guess and I kind of want to look at the site and read what is on his profile before I bring it up to him. Problem is I don't know anything about online dating sites, I have never used them and I tried searching for him and nothing came up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2013
Thu, 11-14-2013 - 1:33pm

So if I'm reading this right you only get the emails if you have been a member before?? I myself have never been on any of those kinda sites but my H had some emails to these online dating sites to more then one I might add. he left his email opened one time and I went snooping. When I clicked on the sites I put in what I figured his username would be and then it asked for a password so I just put something in and it said "password incorrect" not "username and password" but just password. So would I be correct in my gut feeling that my H has an account with these sites? When I asked him about them he said they were spam that just got sent to his inbox and that he would NEVER go on any kinda sites like that but I have a hard time with his answer. I'm not all that computer smart but I'm not completly stupid I don't think either. But I just had to ask in hopes you could give me some insight sense you said you used to be a member to one of those kinda sites. If you or anyone happens to take the time to read and respond I would appreciate it greatly.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 2:28pm

 Please understand that in most cases the EULA specifies that your profile is the property of the company that owns the site(and any others).  They will send ads,come ons etc forever.  Worse, you might find your picture and or profile on "hot guys" sits that are  company owned.  That is one of the problems with these sites.   Many never purge the files.    That makes one believe that they have many more members than are actually active.

   So it is not any surprise that he is being emailed.  Think of it this way.  They(the sites) are a business.  They want members to re-up memberships.  So they place ads.  In essence this in nothing but a type of advertisement.   FYI have you joined any singles sites?    Go back and read the EULA and see what you got yourself into.  Have you removed your profile if you can?  Who owns the site?   Google them to see what other sites they own.  Check for cross pollination in the EULA.  Then you will have a explanation if he or others find your profile on some site.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 11-05-2013 - 1:15pm

I used to be a paid member of a very popular dating site.  I haven't been on there in a very long time & I have hidden my profile, yet I still get emails about my "new matches."  so this email doesn't necessarily mean that he is active on the site.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Tue, 11-05-2013 - 12:57pm

Since you call him your boyfriend, I'm assuming you've agreed to be exclusive. You were not snooping and the e-mail popped up. If you've agreed to be exclusive, I don't know why you ddn't ask him about it at the time. You have a right to know the status of your relationship with him. It's better not to snoop. Just plain ask him about it. If he says it's an old site and he doesn't click on it, etc., tell him since you're exclusive, you want him to delete his profile if he plans on remaining with you. Tell him that you want to be treated the way that you treat him. You don't keep dating profiles up when you're exclusive with someone, and you expect the same of him.

If you're afraid of losing him by speaking up, the relationship isn't strong to begin with. You should never be afraid of speaking up for yourself. A man has to treat you right to be in a relationship with you, and be on the same page about exclusivity, or he will not be your bf, end of story. Men adore confident women who don't put up with their bs. Secrets don't stay secrets for long. That's why God or fate made it possible for you to see that e-mail. Now it's up to you to find out the reality of the situation. Good luck.