BF driving me nuts!
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| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 2:22am |
Hey All,
I don't know where to go, so I've come here.. I just need to vent..
I've been with my BF for almost 2 years.. he has a reoccuring issue that I don't know how to address without coming across as if I'm attacking him.
The issue is that he is so insecure that he always has to be right!.. You can't tell him anything because he refuses to see the second side to everything. it's driving me mad!!
We end up fighting because he frustrates me with this attitude!..
Case in point,
He is gone to Africa to Climb Mount Kilimanjaro.. My mother was telling him to be aware of Altitude Sickness it can be fatal.. He then says he doesn't have to worry because it's not that tall of a mountain.. ( Only the 4th highest mountain in the world and is 17,000 feet high) Seems pretty tall to me,...
He then wants to fight with me the night before he leaves for 2 weeks (we've never been apart for more then a week locally never mind internationally) he wants to fight over how insulted he feels that my mother keeps telling about the altitude sickness..
Hello WE CARE about you.. I told him I'd rather he take the precautions then not.. you are not god you cannot predict what will happen to you..
I just feel frustrated, because he has a lot of other great qualities it's just this one issue that drives me mad.. he tells me he wants a girl who can stand up to him but yet when you try to he doesn't want to see it!!...
So he's gone for 2 weeks.. he left on semi iffy terms because we were fighting.. and I have yet to hear from him but I'll give him a few days just because of the time difference..
I want to address this issue with him when he returns for the betterment of our relationship I just don't know how to begin..
Anyway thanks guys I appreciate any advice...

I see a few things here.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
I don't know if this is how bad your BF is, but my mom ALWAYS had to be right. You could have a roomful of people recount what had happened to counter my mom but SHE was the right one. It was INFURIATING. I grew up hating my mom for it and didn't ever move past it til I went off on her bigtime after I got married. She never did get over that... Anyway, it's not fun to be involved with someone who HAS to be right. And other than never having a conversation that you really care about with the person, I can't tell you how to deal with it. My mom's turned out to be complicated by some brain issues so we could at least talk about her not being responsible about it. But when we thought she was, we were ALL miserable. Dad, kids, everyone.
Jen
>>The issue is that he is so insecure that he always has to be right!.. You can't tell him anything because he refuses to see the second side to everything<<
I honestly don't think that there's anything you can do about this. It's his personality and you've got to either accept it or leave him.
However, I will give you something to think about: If he can't see the second side to anything and always has to be right, how on earth will you deal with marital issues should you marry one day? The #1 rule to being able to solve marital problems is to be able to look at a problem from the angle of your spouse.
I would suggest that you think long and hard about a long term future with this man.
In the situation you describe, it wasn't something for you two to be fighting about. If he had a problem with what your mother said, the person he needs to address that with is her, not you. Your response should have been, "You'll need to talk to my mom about that, not me." then leave it alone.
This incident aside, what you're saying is that he's never willing to see anyone else's point of view but his own, never able to let anyone else be right or more to the point, never able to be wrong, yes? In that, Aisha is absolutely right. This is who he is, it's his personality and it's not going to change. If it's driving you crazy now, I guarantee that it'll drive you insane later on. Imagine being with someone for the rest of your life who can't be wrong, who's points of view and opinions are always right. And again, like Aisha said, in marriage it's important to work through problems by give and take, by compromise, by understanding and giving back and forth. This isn't going to happen with a guy who has to be right, it's going to be all him all the time. Not a fun or happy existence. I'd say he's Mr. Okay To Date, but definitely not Mr. Right.
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"