BF's female "friend"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2010
BF's female "friend"
6
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 11:42am

My boyfriend has this female friend that I am almost certain still has feelings for him. She is recently divorced with a child and just moved back to town. Apparently he is the first person she called and they went out for drinks. They're not close. And never were. They never dated but she expressed feelings for him (before we met) and he was not interested. Then she got married and moved away.

I don't have a problem with him having female friends. But this one I don't trust. And he met her for drinks and didn't tell me about it. I found out from a mutual friend. When I asked him why he would feel the need to keep that from me he said he wasn't trying to hide anything and there is nothing between them.

Well I finally met her 2 nights ago and not only was she rude to me, but everytime I would step away from him for a minute she would move in right next to him. Even other people noticed and asked what was going on with this girl. It was at a friend's birthday party. Apparently my boyfriend hooked up this girl with one of his friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:35pm

I think you should tell him that you noticed she was very friendly to him at the party while being rude to you & that other people noticed and that you would feel uncomfortable if the 2 of them went out alone--he can see her in a group or bring you.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 12:34am

Welcome back, Mel272010 ~

For those who aren't familiar, who need a refresher and so that you can have the chance to re-read it,


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 12:45am

Since you posted about more concerns with your boyfriend three months ago, I have to assume this is the same boyfriend, right?

He has a huge history of lying to you, from early on to recently.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2010
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 3:40pm

That is exactly why I have such a problem with it. I just wanted to reinforcement so that I know I'm not crazy. :) Given our history, he knows my trust issues with him, and he knows why. He tells me that he didn't realize what he was doing or that it would be so hurtful to me. Then this situation comes up and I'm like so was all that b.s? Or is he really just as naive about my feelings as he claims to be?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 8:47pm

So


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 12:28pm
Guys that are in relationships, especially if the relationship is at all serious, should not have female friends outside of the relationship. If a guy wants to befriend a female or a female is attempting to befriend him, in order to respect his relationship with his own women he needs to direct this new female to her so that they become friends first. It is disrespectful to be "friends" with any female outside of the relationship, because if a guy is not willing to include his woman in the relationship with this female then there is obviously something else going on between them that makes them more then just friends.