Both under major stress
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|Wed, 07-25-2012 - 12:42pm|
My husband and I are going through a very rough patch, and I am not sure what to do to help things improve.
I am under a lot of stress, dealing with the loss of a very dear friend, the terminal illness of another one (who I am being tested for to see if I can be a living donor, as he needs one ASAP), friend/family stupid drama, a family member's newborn in critical condition, my own bipolar disorder causing me to be even more sensitive with all this. So I am emotionally pretty exhausted and have neared thoughts I don't want to have about escaping all this. On top of it, I feel totally alone because I don't have a lot of friends to depend on and who I can be open about things with, and my husband has pretty much completely shut me out.
Why? He has a ton of stress too - caring about me and not being able to help fix the above stuff, but mostly work. He got laid off from his previous job in April, which at first seemed like a blessing in disguise because a month later he got a new job closer to our home with a lot of promise. Well, he's already miserable in his job. His boss is a control freak and does not trust his talent, so she makes him feel like he can't do anything right. He admitted last night that he feels like no one appreciates him and that he can't do or say anything right anywhere, so he is closed off and has been avoiding situations and people who might make him feel bad (me). He also said he loves me very much and knows I am going through hardships and doesn't want to add more stressors so he's not telling me about them.
Well, I feel totally unsupported, alone, and rejected. And I don't feel I have the energy to make him feel better. I try with little things, like a nice text or making him cookies or giving him hugs and encouraging words. But I am human and sometimes have to ask him to pay a bill or clean up something, and then I become evil in his eyes. It's always my fault - I'm too sensitive and moody or whatever. I often dread spending time with him, because he's so miserable. This has been true for a while now. I am even considering a separation, at least living in different sides of the house for a while. Or am I going about this all wrong? Help please if you can.