boundaries for being friends with an ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
boundaries for being friends with an ex
6
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 10:33am

This is a bit sticky and I wonder if I handled it correctly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 10:49am

You say: ( i know he would never go back to her I have complete trust in him).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:04am

You had me convinced that this was an innocent friendship until this line:

"She has confided in him about being unhappily married. "

That's how every affair begins. Every one. She's setting the stage to attempt to cheat with him, whether either of you want to believe it or not... I can see that this is raising red flags for you. Trust that intuition, it isn't wrong. Another woman is attempting to take your man from you.

Another thing that worries me is this:

"i know he would never go back to her I have complete trust in him"

So you are a "new girlfriend" but you know him well enough to be 100% positive he would never do anything with her? I think that's a little naive, and it's the idea of "complete trust" that gets people in trouble with their own gut instincts. I wish you had told us how he responded to your statements. You are wise enough to know that her husband is being treated ufairly here and that misleading her is a very serious possibility.

There is something very wrong with not inviting you. I don't believe that her intent is innocent and by going along with it, your boyfriend IS leading her on. I'm glad he sees your point - What is he going to do about it? She needs to back down, and he has to be the one to create that distance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001

Welcome back, Hatesnow42 ~

I'm posting your previous posts for those who aren't familiar with your situation or who need a refresher.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:41am

Of course she didn't mention inviting you along for dinner--she doesn't want you along because she wants your BF all to yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 10:33am

There is a different dynamic to male/female friendships. To me, it's

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 2:30am

Hatesnow42, I'm sorry I didn't reply over the weekend; like everybody else, I'm not used to this format and didn't recognize I hadn't replied.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_