Boyfreind vs family

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Boyfreind vs family
3
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 7:41pm
Recently my boyfriend and my mother have really been going at, at least from his point of view. They have gotten along fine for years but lately everything she says seems to offend him. I have tried to ask him why because i dont understand what the problem is, but he says I just dont understand because I will side with my mother no matter what. To me what my mom says seems like friendly suggestions, but hes convinced she doesnt like him. I am willing to listen to his side, but i cant seem to get it out of him. I feel really torn because I really dont want to pick a side here! It makes me nervous everytime the two of them are going to see each other because I am afraid he will be upset about something after she leaves. Im not sure what I should do here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 8:08pm
In order to answer we are going to have to have some examples of her "suggestions" and what he thinks she meant.

Lee M.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 3:23am
I agree with Lee, without having a few examples to go by, it's pretty impossible to get a feel for what's going on here and I, like Lee, will be watching for your response. However, I can tell you that you are right to NOT want to get in the middle, your boyfriend's relationship with your mother is his own, not yours; you shouldn't be defending either one to the other. The fact that your boyfriend says you always side with your mom says you've defended her (or tried to explain what she meant) to him before. Do NOT defend her to him, or him to her, instead tell whichever one of them is doing the complaining that this isn't your issues, it's theirs and he needs to take it up with your mother, not you.

cl-2nd_life








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2000
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 3:43pm
Whatever has come between them, it's a problem between them - in no way should you take sides or feel that you must. That's about all the response I can give you, short of knowing exactly what they're battling about.

 


~~joannaran~~