Boyfriend Troubles..Need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2010
Boyfriend Troubles..Need some advice
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:04pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years-living together now for about 5 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:32pm

I don't really understand why you felt you couldn't trust him when he was only smoking & chatting w/ this girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2010
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:41pm

He was smoking and chatting yes, but as it turns out he was spending time with her and not telling me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 5:44pm

He's probably lying because you're irrationally jealous and he doesn't want to be punished just for talking with another woman. Sometimes people lie because they know what they're doing is wrong, and sometimes people lie because they know they're going to be punished for being honest. Not that either is okay, but I can see why he would lie to you. He needs to be more honest with you but you should learn how to deal with this kind of thing without getting so angry over what was really nothing.

"he seemed emotionally invested" I'm not sure what you mean by this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 8:20pm
Can you tell us more about how the two of you communicate? Were there arguments or suspicion or problems in your communication before he started talking to this girl? How did you come to find out he lied?

I wonder if the performance problems are related to your mistrust. Has he ever had that issue in the last and how did it resolve the last time?
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 2:07am

Welcome to the board, Glamgolfer ~

Do the two of you have rules about contact with members of the opposite sex?

~ cl-2nd_life