I was involved in a 8month
I think it's actually smart of him to realize that he's not ready to be in a relationship, although it's painful to you.
First, I hope you do realize that this is not the last man on earth for you. So let go of that now or never thought.It's too soon after his ex to be dating, and he's said this to you flat out. His attention towards you could b a nice little cover up for his real mourning. He needs time to get over his ex before he starts anything. You don't want to be the "distraction" that he later wakes up and realizes that's all you were for him - a nice distraction.I'd limit all contact for a good 6 months. Don't let him sweet talk you, cuddle you, buy you things. Just let him be alone for a while. He may have a need to keep a woman by his side regardless if he's ready for one or not. Maybe he's the type that doesn't know how to be alone? Clearly he is not ready, and so I'd give him buffer time and not get swooned by the stuff in between.
If he's already moved on to someone else or not interested in you anymore after 6 months, then refer to my first statement.
Thank you so much...i agree that he needs the time to figure things out...One thing I didn't mention, is in addition to his wanting to back away he is online dating and has upgraded to serious status...meaning wants a serious relationship...so I don't get it!!
What he's doing is collecting woman to pick from.
And he's included you in this group. But that doesn't mean he will actually pick you.
He could be stringing you along only to committ to someone else.
If I were you, I'd take his answer to your ultimatum seriously, and leave. (afterall, what's the point of an ultimatum if you aren't going to follow through....?)
He was with you 8 months.... but he was probably using you to avoid what he was feeling for his ex.
And now, he's planning out his next move.
I don't like it - he's being manipulative.
If he really loved you he would be with you. Not online looking for other women to "sort through".
He's probably keeping you around in case he doesn't find anyone he likes.
You deserve better than that. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you, love you, and only want to be with you.
Lynntam45, you haven't been on this board before, but you have been on the Toxic Relationships board a few times; not about this relationship, but about another - and I think the history is important to your current situation:
Stay or Go?Hear me Out/ Is he a cheater?
Lynntam, if someone loves you they don't have to revist an old relationship to make sure the old one shouldn't work out instead.