Can't trust him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Can't trust him.
5
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 1:38pm
Ok, Here's my question.

How do I trust and overcome a problem that he's had about lying to me for awhile now. I've never liked porn and he was and still is a porn junky, He's lied face forward to me and just thinks i should believe him and be done with it. I've awlays believed if you in a relationship you dont need that cause you have that person. I am too faithful to him and should I do what he's just keep the peace? Oh, I'm Melissa and I'm 22yrs old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Wed, 07-09-2003 - 9:36pm
Well I have the same thing going. I feel the exact same way that you shouldn't need to look at porn if you have someone because in my opinion that's like saying "you're not good enough". My fiance knows that and he always says he agrees but then every once in a while I'll find porn on his computer and he'll just say it was his brothers or something.. yeah right. If you get an answer to your question, I'd sure love to hear it! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 07-10-2003 - 2:39am
Thank you! finally someone who agrees with me on this. I'll let you know if i get one. Melissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 5:10pm
I might get attacked for this but here it goes....I see nothing wrong with my man watching porn. I have even bought him porn on DVD and VHS. I know that he loves me but men are very physical and will watch it regardless. Do you actually like arguing each time you catch him?? Why not watch it with him??
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 8:01pm
ewwwwww! I love him but I'm not watching porn, I never liked and I'm not gonna start. Why cant a guy be totally be into me and yet not watch porn? Thats all I want. I dont watch so he shouldnt either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 8:55am
My 2nd post and I am getting into a porn debate, somebody stop me!

Who is to say that your boyfriend is not into you, what does it have to do with you? Is he not making love to you in lieu of watching porn (that would be a different sort of problem). I think men watch porn to fulfill secret desires that they think their partners would not understand. I am not suggesting you watch the porn with him, but perhaps you could have a non threatening conversation with him about it, what about it excites him. what type does he watch? If you were willing, perhaps you could fulfill some of those fantasies for him.

when my husband and I were first married, he use to watch it all the time. It didnt really bother me, but I didnt want to watch it with him either. But then I started to wonder why he felt the need to watch it and I just started to ask him about it. The next day, I tried to get the scene as close to what he described to me as possible (luckily...there were no other people involved). After a while, instead of looking for sex tapes or books, he would describe his fantasies to me and sometimes I to him and we not only enjoyed ourselves (together) but it drew us closer together and he doesnt read or watch porn movies any longer.