Catholic Guilt-How to help him deal
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Catholic Guilt-How to help him deal
| Sun, 04-02-2006 - 7:49pm |
So my new bf, 28, is having trouble in the sex department. He either goes off too fast or looses his erection. I havent brought it up, but he has, and says he has too much running through his head. Part guilt, part performance anxiety, he knows i have more experience than him. And he has been hurt in the past by women, this could also be contributing. I told him we could just wait until he feels more comfortable emotionally with the whole thing and he laughed and said that he really wants to and thats the problem. Anyway, I have some ideas about helping him deal with this, but i thought maybe you guys would have some suggestions too.
THANKS!!
THANKS!!

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Thanks again.
I agree that it is a good sign that he's the one who brings it up. I don't agree that it's not appropriate for you to suggest seeing a doctor. Quite honestly, if you're close enough to him to be sexually intimate, you should certainly be close enough to have a conversation. Really now, what's your excuse, that talking about seeing a doctor is too personal? What's more personal than the sex act? You strip down with the guy, I think you can talk about personal stuff ~lol! (And if you can't, you sure as heck shouldn't be having sex with him!)
So, the next time he mentions it (assuming you're not in bed, if so you'll have to put it off) say something like, "Have you considered seeing a urologist about it?" And the discussion begins.... If you're in the bedroom at the time, wait until you're out of the room, then bring it up, "You mentioned XXX (however he talks about the problem), have you considered going to the doctor about it?" If he says he hasn't you can ask him why, encourage him to check it out, ask if he's researched the problem, has any possible solutions, etc. Just be open, calm and normal about it. In that way you can be a part of the solution, or at least be a support to the solution; you're encouraging him and with your manner, showing him it's not a big deal to go to the doctor about it. Wherever this goes from here, he's your first source of how to deal with it.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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