Common marriage mistakes & their solu...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
Common marriage mistakes & their solu...
11
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 8:16pm

Common marriage mistakes & their solutions can be learnt beforehand ?



  • Yes. I would have learnt them if I had known.
  • No. Total waste of time.
  • Maybe. No harm in trying.


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:39pm
Welcome to the board, Well-wisher ~

I would say yes, it's absolutely important to take steps to learn about common marital problems and to learn about dealing with issues with your fiance so that you can be in a position to avoid many problems and be able to work through the inevitable snags you will hit.

It sounds like you have some problems of your own though, what's going on with you?











"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

~ Author unknown


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"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 11:17pm
There are many common mistakes, a lot of them have to do with making a good marriage decision in the first place, and a lot can be learned beforehand. Some things can't be sorted out until after you are married, but no reason to wait to then to learn about some of what makes a happy/healthy relationship.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



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Ten Rules for Being Human
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 12:45pm

Thanks.

Common mistakes that almost every couple make at some point in their marriage for one reason or the other.

e.g.:

- Taking your spouse for granted.

- Not appreciating your spouse.

- Not respecting your spouse.

- Not giving enough time to understand each other.

- Forcing your own opinions instead of listening to each other.

And, when this happens over and over again, couples either file for a divorce or opt for counseling.

I wonder how many of us are even willing to learn these common patterns....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 2:08pm
Many of us recognize the danger of those issues and take steps to assure they don't fall into them. For some, it's a matter of routine relationship care. So yes, many work daily to assure their relationships stay free of those issues.

It's certainly possible to repair those issues if you've fallen into them too. I'm hoping you'll give us a deeper explanation of what's going on in your situation so we can help you clear those issues out of your relationship.












"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

~ Author unknown


Photobucket











"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 5:59am

I'm a man that is not married and I can say

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 2:12pm

Thankyou for your concern.

Am sure, you must be aware of the number of people posting every single day about their unresolved marital/relationship issues here. I wonder, how many of these even try to understand the common patterns first and learn from it and resolve it. Instead, some of them take the easy way out - divorce, infidelity, living in a revenge - you name it!

I hope, this answers yours/others queries about why I started this poll.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 4:52pm

I don't think it would really work for me. I have to be looking at a problem before the solution makes sense, if you see what I mean.

I do think it's a good idea to actively seek solutions once a problem arises.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 1:05am
I wouldn't call divorce, infidelity or living in revenge easy way outs, by any means.

You're saying you don't have problems in your relationship, that you only posted in response to the situations posted here? Because of the speed in which the first poll vote was posted, I'd thought you were the one who posted the negative "wouldn't have mattered" response to your own poll.

I encourage you to stick around and help offer better ways to those who do come here for help, we'd love to see you stick around!











"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

~ Author unknown


Photobucket











"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 3:38am

Communication, openness, being willing to see the other person's side, being sensible. Some problems do have simple, plain, practical solutions.

I do like the website you often recommend, but it isn't the whole story IMO.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 1:37pm

Well, In my opinion these options (divorce, infidelity, living revengeful) are all easy way out since maintaiing a loving, life-long, marital relationship with one partner is a hard work. People tend to give up easily when problems arise and seek easier options!

I voted: Solutions to commom mistakes can be learnt!

Thanks for your encouragement. I do hope that I can help others with whatever experience I have gained in my marriage!

Well-Wisher

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