Communication between the sheets and his mouth

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
Communication between the sheets and his mouth
4
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 11:11pm

I've been with this man for roughly one yr and eight months. I love this man but there's something that I still haven't figure out yet: how to communicate with him and talk about something deep and personal. I notice that some couple get serious faster than others, and this is a man that I want to take things to the next level without scaring him off.

I know all his close friends and family, but he doesn't know mine too well. Whenever we hang out, it's usually just the two of us. I'm trying to get him to want to meet my family and friends. I already clearly told him that I want to be more involved in his life. He remained silent.

All his friends has told me that he doesn't talk about his feelings often and keeps all his problems to himself. His life has always been hectic between his work, his band practice, his hockey game, his friends and family, and me. I always feel like I get the short-end of the stick because of all of his obligations. I love that he's so active and engaged in everything that he does, but I wish that he would include me in these other activities, too.

Since he doesn't communicate too well, there would be a lot of misunderstanding between us. I would be extremely frustrated and push my opinion too far and he would just withdraw and not talk to me. He's very passionate in bed and he never has difficulty telling me how much he loves me, but that isn't enough for me to think that he wants a future with me.

I would appreciate it if some feedback and maybe solutions on how to take this relationship to the next level, improve my communication, and tell me your honest opinion if one year and eight months might not be enough time to think about getting married. Personal experience are welcomed. Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 11:37pm

Hi Xhopeful.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 11:45pm

Welcome to the board, Xhopeful ~

A few questions...

You said, "Since he doesn't communicate too well, there would be a lot of misunderstanding between us. I would be extremely frustrated and push my opinion too far and he would just withdraw and not talk to me."


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 12:44am
I totally agree. If that emotionally and communicative intimacy is something you want in a long term relationship then he's clearly not the guy. What sort of relationship is that for you?

Time to move on.
Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 10:22am

I have the same curiosity as true.blue. If he won't communicate with you, you don't really feel that close to him, you feel like you're not a big priority to him, do you REALLY want to "take things to the next level" with him or do you just wish he were different?