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|Sun, 05-18-2003 - 4:50pm|
I have a complicated question. My fiance John got an annulment 3 years ago. The girl he married was pregnant with a child she told him was his (she is very messed up). It was not. He found this out through DNA testing. She also had a 2 year old when they married. He grew close to these children before the break up and has continued to see them over the years. They live in another town. John does not have children of his own and I can no longer have any. I have an 8 year old who loves him. We have talked about adoption and that is something he would like. Here's the problem: His ex-wifes children call him dad. They do not know any different, nobody has told them. I see a huge future problem with this. What if the ex gets remarried and never lets the children see John again? What if we adopt? How will my daughter feel about this? We took my daughter to spend time with the children. They were very jealous of my daughter and the ex-wife had a screaming fit because I was there. Also the only time John has off is during the weekend which leaves very little time for us and when he goes to see the children he is gone the whole day. He has only been to see them 3 times in the last 5 months, which I think is wrong also. If he is committed he should be going to see them on a regular basis. I just see so many future problems with this picture and I am having a hard time understanding why he can't let go and move on. Please, please, please help! We have gone over and over and over this without finding a solution. Thank you!