Conflicting Schedules

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Conflicting Schedules
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 8:09am

I've been with my boyfriend (legal partner, actually) now for three years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 9:19am


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 10:58am

If he's going to be at 2:00 am and still sleeping until 2:00 pm on a weekend, that's an excessive amt. of sleep. he should really be able to get up before noon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 1:45am

Welcome to the board, Sadra16 ~

I agree with both Crab and Musiclover.

~ cl-2nd_life

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 2:27pm
I agree with undercovercrab. You say you spend plenty of time together in the evenings so I'm not convinced that this is getting in the way of your relationship, it sounds like you need a hobby or something else to occupy your time. Couples don't have to be attached at the hip and he is not responsible for keeping you occupied all the time. While he's sleeping, do something else you enjoy on your own. It's healthy to have some individual interests or hobbies - his is video games... what's yours? If you don't know the answer to that question, start exploring! Try new things, see what you like.

I can understand it's frustrating when you make specific plans together for the day together and then his day doesn't begin until the afternoon. But you need to communicate to him your expectations of what the "whole day" means. Obviously to him, it's whenever he gets up... but to you, it should start earlier. Say something like "I would like our day together tomorrow to start earlier - how about X o'clock?" He might not like the idea of getting up earlier but remind him that for you, the day starts much earlier and so it doesn't really feel like you're spending the whole day together when he sleep in so late. But also let him know that when you have made no specific plans together, he can sleep as late as he wants and you will pick up on your hobbies.

Helping with the cleaning is a separate issue - he can clean whenever he likes, it doesn't have to be while you're cleaning too in the mornings, just as long as he's contributing fairly. From what I can see, he works less hours than you do - he should have more free time to clean. But getting a man to help clean more is a battle many women face, lol.