Confused about children's favoring mother, mother's reaction

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Confused about children's favoring mother, mother's reaction
17
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 7:20pm
I'm a father who can use some input. I have a 4 year old boy and 7 year old girl. From an early age, my daughter would get upset when my wife left, and even at age 7 wants to go with her, have her drop her off at school, pick her up, etc. I focused a lot of attention on her and was thrilled to have children, so these daily actions hurt but i've lowered my expectations to try to compensate. My son is mimicing this behavior. I was very close to my dad so this confuses me, A pattern has recently developed. My wife will get tired of dealing with the kids, so she will ask me to "do something" with them. I will offer to take themto the park, something i used to regularly do, or around the block on their bike, etc. Either one or the oher will then protest that they want to stay with her. I will then, under pressure to please my wife's desire for a break, try to coax them to just leave briefly to give her a break. I don't like it when I sense my son not just resenting me but distespecting me, So modt recently I tried to force the issue and raised my voice. He and my dsughter left, but when my wife heard him cry, she became very protectiv and told them to come back. I thought that was a bad idea, since it seems he'll learn to start complaining if he doesntbwant to do something and either I give in or my wife eill interfere on his behalf. I almost feel sometimes as if I'm being set up. The result is I feel isolated from her and my children. She asked me today to take them and I said only if she convinced them to go, to which she rolled her eyes. She knows my feelings are hurt and doesnt seem to care. She would probably call me overly sensitive. If the shoe were on other foot, I would do everything I could to have the kids stop being hurtful. I'm ready to go to therapy but have a feeling she will dominate the sessions with complaints and dismissal of my views. Any input is very appreciated.