Confused. considering a 'break'
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|Mon, 12-27-2010 - 4:01am|
Okay, I've been with this guy for more than a year now. He's usually very caring and understanding and has supported me through tough times. But over time Ive realised he has a bit of an ego and this is something he warned me of before. It's not very prominent. It's just that he can never do what I say and he never realises his mistakes. We go through a lot of quite serious fights every once in a while.He goes through frequent mood swings and he always chooses to display his sullen mood to me while appearing to be quite cheerful with others. I guess that shows he's honest about his feelings with me and doesn't put on a fake smile for me but it's quite bothering at times because no matter how much I try to cheer him up he just doesnt feel better.
Anyway during one of his mood swings, he just snapped at me for no reason and said some things that really hurt a lot. He was very insensitive and he didn't think about my situation before saying them. He knows that I've been going through some personal problems but when he's angry he just loses control. His words really hurt me. Most of the time, when I get mad at him for something I dont feel like confronting him so I walk away. He then gets angry because I walked away. And he never apologises to me after a fight. I just let go and move forward. But it's really hard for me to do so. I sometimes wish he would just admit to his mistakes or say sorry.
Every time I just feel so depressed that I stop all forms of contact with him for a while. And then when I feel like Ive had enough space to recover I talk to him again. This thing doesnt really work because no matter how long I stay without calling or speaking to him, he handles it and doesnt attempt to contact me until I make the move. That's his ego winning again. This time I just didnt want to do that. I don't think I can get over it like other times on my own. I've been talking to him normally but not as more than friends. It's like a break but I didnt say that to him directly. But Im scared this break thing will make it worse and his ego will get in the way. I don't want to lose him. Im just very disappointed and I'm tired of making up even though I'm the one who is hurt. I want him to realise it's his mistake and apologise. But I don't know what to do. Please give your thoughts.