Is counseling always an alternative?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
Is counseling always an alternative?
8
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 1:33pm

If you're with someone who has regularly treated you very poorly, should you go to counseling if they are willing?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 1:38am

Yes, absolutely, I agree -- individual counseling is key.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 9:07pm

I agree.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 9:35pm

The first thing you have to realize is that this is HIS problem not yours.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 9:15pm

Nope, not still in contact with him, not considering going back.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 8:59pm

Bincky, are you referring to the relationship you posted about yesterday on Toxic Relationships?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 5:06pm

I can see therapy/counseling being helpful in processing through an extreme or traumatic event.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 2:19pm

It is the general consensus (as 2ndLife will post many links for you when she sees this) that regular marriage counseling is not recommended in cases where there is emotional/physical/verbal abuse.

Are we talking emotional, verbal or physical abuse here?

I do however think that if someone has REGULARLY treated you poorly, then that is who they are, history is the BEST indicator of the future, and it is better to just leave.

It's also probably wise to learn the reasons why you stayed with someone so long who treated you so poorly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 2:03pm

If the poor treatment includes abuse, don't waste time or money on counseling.