Dating serial-monogamist/strange that I'm worried?
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|Fri, 12-16-2011 - 6:22pm|
Hello all, I'm new to the message boards and thought this would be a good way to reach out for advice. My boyfriend (30) and I (28) have been together for a year. He's basically the perfect man: emotionally mature, committed, successful in his job, loving, intelligent, etc, etc. It's been smooth sailing, but there's one nagging thing in my head. He's been a serial monogamist his whole adult life having six nearly back to back long term relationships (me being the sixth). I suppose that's a good thing knowing he's never been the jerk that treats women badly. In fact he told me they all ended with him getting his heart broken by them taking advantage of him one way or another. He tells me he loves me like no other, has done more for me than any other girl: took me to Europe, going to support me through grad school, being the first girl he's moving in with. But I can't get it out of my head that what if I'm just someone else he fell in love with?
Maybe it's jealousy or insecurity on my part, but I frequently get a little cautious when I think how he's said "I love you" to nearly every other girlfriend. By contrast, I've mostly been a commitment-probe until now. Beside a puppy-love boyfriend at 18, there was 4 year relationship (bad. long story). Beyond that I was happy being the girl just dating around and enjoying casual flings. When I say I love him, it truly has weight given the fact that I'm very particular on who I say that to. Maybe I'm concerned that his "I love you's" don't have the same weight given that he's said that to everyone, despite all he's done for me. He says it hurts him when I bring up this concern because it makes him feel like he can never do enough to prove the extent of his feelings for me. Am I being a little fair in thinking this or just being neurotic? I'm looking for outside opinions to give a dose of reality one way or another. Much thanks...