Delicate Subject
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Delicate Subject
| Fri, 07-07-2006 - 3:22pm |
For those that have been reading my threads, how can I suggest couple counseling to my hubby?
And if he says no, how can I deal with his answers. What if he rejects it, which by the way, I know he will. How can I accept his answer without getting upset or turn it in an arguement?
When is the time to bring up couple counseling? Should I bring it up when we've had a couple of weeks of no yelling/screaming?
How to I really approach this delicate subject?
Many times when we talk, he's on the pc which I think is a distraction. How can I "gently" tell him to listen to me without him thinking I'm nagging. He always tells me, he can do 2 things at once (meaning that he can talk and be on the pc).
Any suggestions would be appreciative.

Casey,
I've read several of your posts - here's my suggestion - I would definitely open the discussion on neutral grounds, ie, not after ya'll have had one of your arguments. DH & I usually talk while I'm cooking dinner and he's hanging around the kitchen. Anyway, I would just say, "listen, I think I'm going to see a couples counseler b/c I think it will really help us communicate and improve our marriage. i think it would be great if you would go with me. i know how you feel about therapists. i love you and i want this to work - i feel this will only benefit us and it would mean a lot to me if you joined me."
something like that! the point is to (hopefully) not start an argument about it, but leave it up to him if he wants to go with you. you'll show that you're making an effort to improve things, and how can any spouse argue with that logic (so long as the suggestion is sound, of course)? if he doesn't go, which i hope he has a change of heart about it, maybe the counseler can give you 2 exercises to do or something and he'll participate in those. perhaps if he sees that it actually works and helps, he may join you.
sorry if i rambled a bit! hope this helps, and i wish ya'll the best!
anna
I want that loving feeling again
Need some suggestions
My hubby and I have tension
Things are better but.......
Here's one of our "stupid" fights
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
You might preface your talk by telling him there's something you'd like to talk to him about and ask him if this is a good time. Tell him you're planning to see a marriage counselor to improve your relationship and you hope he'll join you to support you, if for no other reason. If he says he will, great; if not, go without him, there's a lot you'll learn there that will help your relationship, even if he doesn't go.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"