Dh confessed to emotional affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Dh confessed to emotional affair
33
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 8:31pm
What a day this has been! My 17 year old ds accidentally picked up my dh's phone since they have the same phone. My dh was sending explicit texts to someone and in one mentioned that he had a dream about the woman he had an affair with. My ds sent these texts to his phone and held onto them until today.

This morning my ds had left his Facebook open where he was telling a friend he was robotripping and he has taken large quantities of mucinex to get high. Ds came downstairs to find my dh reading his messages, so he tells dh that he is cheating on me and he can prove it and he did.

Dh initially denied it, however later admitted that he was looking on craigslist and began emailing a woman from an email account he created just to talk with her. He says he ended it after two weeks, but we would have known none of this if he hadn't been testing someone else that he says he didn't know and just sent him some random text!!!!

I just don't know what to do or think. It has been so stressful and my ds has issues that must be dealt with...the entire situation is overwhelming:(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 10:53am

Oh I am so sorry for you.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 1:01am

Welcome back, Jakesmom39 ~

I'm posting the links to your previous posts so those who are familiar with your situation can refresh and so those who aren't can understand more about your situation.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 1:29am

Boy, another major problem, you sure have a lot to deal with.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 11:50am

Yep. If he's not willing to be an open book with his phone, email accounts, computer access etc. then I also would suspect there is more going on than he's willing to admit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 7:47pm

oh my goodness, I am so sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 11:02pm

Oh Jakesmom, I so feel for you and can only imagine what you are going through.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 10:28am

Mom_uk....It has been a nightmare! The worst being that the day after my ds17 spilled the beans he didn't even remember because he had been high on the Mucinex, and he had even told his father about it, because he hadn't known what to do with the info after he had found out about it, so even my ex dh knows about my embarrassing humiliation:( Ds had forwarded the texts to my phone and I keep re-reading them, which is probably not the best idea, but I just get so mad every time I read them or even think about it the entire situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 10:32am
Hi Beth, thank you for replying! Yes, my son has had difficulty with the Mucinex in the past while living with his father. Since the behavior is now showing up here while he is at our home, it is time to seek treatment from a professional and get it under control. Ds was to the point he was even vomitting and the day after we had a good long talk, he can minimize it all he likes, it is a serious issue as you said.

As for dh, he has a pattern of emailing women, has done so in the past, and we are awaiting a call back from our counselor that we have to gone to before and know us well. I'm not sure if that is a good thing!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 10:58am

Hi CL..

To be honest, I have had that feeling for quite some time that something wasn't right, that he was doing *something* that he shouldn't be, does that make sense? It was just a feeling. At this point, I have ZERO trust, and he knows it!!

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 1:41pm

DS's problems first! and stress that red herring tactics won't work!

chaika

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