Does he REALLY "want" me?
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Does he REALLY "want" me?
| Mon, 08-21-2006 - 1:21pm |
After a 15 year friendship, I have recently feel in love with my high school admirer. I am a single Mom of 3 and he has been in my life for all the good and bad, although I've moved from city to city over the years.
Now that we are together, I find myself wondering how could l have avoided this man for so many years. But alas, here is my problem! We have pratically been living together for the past 3 months and he will not have intercourse with me. Although we do "other things".
I've brought it up several times and there is always a different excuse. "I want us to take our time", "I don't want to get you pregnant right away", "I want to be careful with the kids in the next room".
I want this man sooo bad. What can I do??? Please help!

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BTW - nice to see you back, Marcy, it's been a while!
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Like a diamond with the 4C's ( cut,colour,clarity and caret weight), I live that my relationship MUST have the MY 4C's-communication,compatiablity,compromise and commitment.
High school sweethearts..you have seen alot together.My first three suggestions work great for me.
I would like to give you all an update. I see it's been about 3 mos. since I came here for help. Wow!!!
Well, my bf and I are doing very well. I must confess however, that I never had 'the talk' with him. I chickened out because I didn't want to embarass or humiliate him. So I opted for patience, in my mind, giving him a few more weeks to open up to me. And...he did, we didn't talk about it, but more and more he started letting me touch him and after speaking with my friend, I decided to by a vibrator(I've never had one before)! So, one day we were at lunch and I just said to him out of the blue...'so, I brought a vibrator today". He smiled and said...'oh really'.
Well, since then, it's been 'on' (-:! It's been a learning experience for the both of us. (It seems even though we are both 34, we have seriously been sexually sheltered) I can be free and open with him and he is becoming the same with me. I do believe however, that his hesitation in the beginning was because he is not able to get a full erection and he probably was afraid of how I would react about it. But we have come a long way in a few months and eventually I will bring up the issue of the erection, but I'm not sure. I'm learning that intercourse is not everything in a relationship. He keeps me satisfied with his loving and kind behavior, his giving and gracious demeanor and actions and his unselfishness. Think this one is a keeper!
Sorry so long...once I get to typing, its hard to stop. Anyway I hope you all have pleasant holidays!!!!
M
When you do talk to him it's important that you find out if he's seen a doctor about his erection problem. If he has seen a doctor what the doctor said, if not, it's important that he be willing to deal with the problem with a doctor. If he's not dealt with it, it's appropriate for him to start with his regular physician, who will likely refer him to a urologist if the exam turns up nothing. Erection problems are an indicator of many different issues, including diabetes, avoiding seeing a doctor is dangerous and may be holding up treatment on a much needed problem. Even if it is "just" an erection problem, it needs to be addressed, and if he's unwilling to face his problem with a doctor there is zero chance of improvement and every likelihood that it will get worse. If he won't deal with this issue, that affects you very much, what else won't he deal with? It's important to be with a man who's strong enough to face his issues and deal with them.
Let us know how it goes, okay?~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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