Donated sperm w/o telling me

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Donated sperm w/o telling me
3
Thu, 11-28-2013 - 4:28pm

Hello all.

I'm so stressed today. My husband donated sperm to a couple he knows without telling me. The plan was that they were going to pay him $3,000 for the donation but he told them not to go through with it until he talked to me. He never talked to me, they used the sample and of course, they are beating around the bush about the money. Her husband is acting stupid and says that he isn't even sure that his wife used my husband's sperm. Now, the baby was born last weekend. This woman, MARRIED WOMAN, gave the baby my husband's last name. WTF is going on? According to the woman's husband, the baby looks just like my husband. If the purpose of this was to create a family for THEM, why are they trying to make my husband part of their family? Is she falling for my husband? Why is her husband so weak? There was a baby shower for this woman and they had her name and my husband's name on the party favors. BUT HER HUSBAND WAS THERE!!!! I don't understand what is going on. My husband now is conflicted because of the fact that there is a child out there with his DNA that he isn't going to be there for. What did he think was going to happen if the woman was impregnanted with his sperm? I'm just so tired of impulsive, stupid decisions on his end. I feel like I'm always the one that ends up paying for his stupid moves in the end. I'm hurt and it's hard for me to even look at him. I just want them to leave us alone and change the baby's name to theirs. Am I wrong? Besides praying, I don't know what else to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 11-29-2013 - 12:32am

It sounds like this is not the first dumb move your husband made.  You need a lawyer........which you should have had BEFORE all this happened.  I don't think it's a sane thing to donate sperm to "friends".....but the deed is done now.  You should also demand a DNA test ASAP.  What kind of idiot is HER husband, too?  Unless of course he didn't know about it.  And is there a possibility it wasn't just a "sample"?  The whole bunch sounds like retards......they put YOUR husband's name on the shower invitations?  Usually when people use sperm donors it's a private matter, but it sounds like the whole world knows about the mess he created.  You need a lawyer to straighten out this mess he got you in and then maybe he'd give you a discount on a divorce, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 11-29-2013 - 12:52pm
I replied on the other post. I don't know how I made duplicates and I can't delete it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 02-10-2014 - 9:56pm

You can't delete, but you can edit your post, removing your message and replacing it with something like "duplicate post, see second post with same name".


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_