Don't get wet fast enough sometimes & BF handling it negatively

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Don't get wet fast enough sometimes & BF handling it negatively
3
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 1:11pm

Im starting to get frustrated with the way my BF is responding when I dont get wet fast enough some days. I am completely physically/sexually attracted to him and always want to have sex with him but now Im not getting wet instantaneously like I used to in the beginning of our involvement (we've been together officially for 11 months now by the way and have been sexually involved for a little over a year). Anyway, I used to get wet simply by just kissing him for a few minutes so there was no foreplay needed at all, sure he would go down on me sometimes but it wasnt consistent so I think he got accustomed to that. Now, sometimes I just need some lube to kickstart things and I'm good from that point on! Ugh, I feel hes handling things very INSECURELY towards that which is strange 'cause hes a pretty confident guy.

I just want him to accept the fact that THIS IS NORMAL for women (especially in relationships). I want him to stop allowing himself to get discouraged/insecure and ruining the entire mood by just giving up and stopping!! Its stressing me out. I tried talking to him about this and he just stayed quiet, I have no idea if anything I said even registered in his brain :smileysad: I wish I could have some other women tell him that this is normal ya know. My gosh, If u dont see im wet yet, just put some lube and done! No big deal. Any comments would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

cr, I'm a bit impatient with insecurities - especially when they are unfounded.   

Him giving up and stopping , despite your assurance that this is normal is totally unacceptable.  Personally,  I'd be stopping the reassurance and sympathy and giving him a mouthful about his selfishness.  

Honestly, the longer you tolerate this - the longer it will continue.    Tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to get over himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

I also want to add that in terms of considering the longevity of this relationship, his refusal to discuss or even acknowledge what you've said MUST go down as a black mark against him.    You're getting signs that he's not a communicator and isn't open to what you are saying.   I'm not telling you to leave, but I am asking to file this away in your memory.