Don't know what to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Don't know what to do!
11
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 2:15pm

My husband and I have been married for only 5 months (together for 4 years b4 that). This past month or so has been terrible. We fight all the time and he is threatening to end this marriage. He said he is giving it a chance b/c he is still here. He may be giving it a chance physically, but not mentally. Mentally he thinks that our marriage has pretty much failed. The only reason he is giving me is that he doesn't like how I talk to him. I think that there is nothing wrong with the way I talk to him other than the occassional nasty comment if he does or says something that is uncalled for. I think he is blowing things way out of proportion and looking for an excuse to leave me. But I don't understand why. We have had our share of problems but we always got through them because we love each other. Why did he marry me just 5 short months ago if this is how he felt??
I am just totally shocked by all of this. Talking about it lately has gotten us no where, except 10 steps backwards. Should I tell him that maybe we should spend some time apart even though he says he is giving our marriage a chance by staying with me (meaning coming home at night)?? Or will that just make things worse? How do I make him happy so that he will want to stay in this marriage when I know that he has pretty much given up already??
Help Me Please!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:46pm
I don't believe I've given you any advice, and I can't until I have an example of a typical exchange. Until I understand what happens there's no way I can assume you're to blame for how you react and what you say, he's to blame because of his attitude, or you're both to blame. Consequently, I can't say it's appropriate for you to work harder; that may be the last thing that would be right or helpful, nor can I offer any other suggestions to help as what's help in one situation is disastrous and harmful in another. And, like I said in my first response, I had some suggestions written down, then realized I was assuming too much so cut my suggestions out, waiting for answers to my questions so I'd know that the way I was headed was correct.

Of course, you aren't obligated to do anything at all, but without a clear understanding of what's going on there's no way you could get suggestions that stand a chance of being correct or appropriate, and that's not helping your situation at all!








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

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