The Economy and Relationships: a discussion

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
The Economy and Relationships: a discussion
6
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:55am

Hello, fellow boarders.

Without a doubt, the economy has affected us in many ways, if not directely, then indirectly.

How has the current economy affected:

  • your life
  • your well-being
  • your behavior
  • your relationships: marriage, dating, friendships, intimacy

Have you lost a job or been down-sized?

Let's look at how all these pieces fit together. What has been your experience? Perhaps this discussion will be supportive to those who could use some help.

Are there any suggestions or coping skills you might be able to share?

Here are some articles of interest:


http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-relationship,0,5905464.photo

http://clinicallypsyched.com/ecconomic-effects-relationship-mortgage-credit-crunch-psychology.html

http://www.eharmony.com/press/release/16


Be well, all.

Big

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 7:10am

Great questions!

Photobucket

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 9:20pm

Hi Big_sur_prise, I'm sorry you haven't had any replies.

As you're seeing, those who post on this board are here primarily because of an interest in offering specific help to others who are having trouble. Discussing current issues or abstract problems that doesn't relate to the problems of a current poster on the board doesn't generally spark much interest.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 5:54pm

Hello dear CL!

I hear you and I know what you mean. What is interesting is that some people have contacted me privately to tell me of issues. It may be embarrassing to some to post openly.

I can say from my own observations that there are a few recent posts that alluded to how the economy has impacted people and relationships. Someone mentioned an intimacy issue, and that is par for the course. When there is stress over money and finances there is often an effect on the relationship and all that goes with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 11:00pm

Well, my story is a bit different.

I am single but in a relationship.

I am currently involved in

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 8:40am
How awful! I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that. (HUGS)

So do you have any advice for others to avoid getting scammed as you did?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 11:20am

Dear lv2breathe ,

Your story both saddens me and angers me. Your situation is indeed unique and very much related to the economy in general and to "your" economy. How very awful! I understand the shame but remember you are a victim not a perpetrator. The swindler should be ashamed, so try to get out of that miserable mindset. Do you go to counseling? I think it would help. Would you blame a person who was victimized in a violent crime? Would you blame a rape victim? Hardly. Yet victims often feel that they were at fault. They play the tapes over and over again--the "what if" and "if only" tapes. What if I didn't know so-and- so, what if I hadn't been there at that time. It goes on and on. It also fits in with the shock of loss, just as with a death, the replaying of the details over and over again to make sense of events.

I remember dealing with a family years ago; I knew the mother was a drug addict and I needed her to come to a meeting about her child. She swore up and down she'd be there, I was confident she would be. Did she show up? No. The child's grandmother did. The woman who promised to come to an important meeting about her child had a more important agenda--she was out scoring drugs. I was, in effect, swindled. I'll never forget how devastated I felt. I felt abused. I trusted and was deceived.

But in your case, your situation is directly related to you, your personal life, your savings, your future. That's a whammy. I am so glad your boyfriend is supportive. A situation like this can't help but affect your relationship. Your reactive depression is absolutely "normal." How could this not affect your relationship?

"But my depression over this failure and a feeling of being punished really hurts me and casts a cloud of sadness and uncertainty. It's horrible.