Father's Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Father's Day
2
Wed, 06-11-2003 - 8:38pm
I've been separated from my husband since Feb. 17th. We still see each other and are trying to work on our relationship. I live at my parents and he just got a place that my daughter and me spend each weekend at. I was suppose to be moving in on the 22nd though our relationship has drastic ups and downs. Our latest conflict has to do with Father's Day.

Due to something that happened on Feb.17th, I'm not talking to his family and vise versa.

On Mother's day he wanted to take Livi to see his family and I said no way. I was not going over there and it was my first Mother's Day and I was not about to be separated from my 7-month old daughter! It was not Grandparents Day! I ended up going over my sister's in the morning with my mom, he saw his mom in the early afternoon, and then he took me out to dinner.

I told him on Father's Day that he would have Livi the whole day and that I would go see my father alone. His father passed away two years ago this September. I figured I could go see my father in the AM sometime, then we can spend the rest of the day as a family together and we could visit his father's grave. Well he told me that he was spending the afternoon with his family! All my friends say that he should want to spend it with me and I should not be second to his family. His father passed away, and as sad as it may be shouldn't he want to spend it with me? I am the mother of his child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
In reply to: stcylra
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 5:25am
You may be the mother of his child, but you are separated. You haven't provided us with the reasons for your separations or the issues that continue to keep you separated, but perhaps at this moment in time (with so many 'ups and downs' in your relationship) he feels more comfortable being with his family. I know that if I was in the same situation, I would probably feel the same way.

Peace & Love, Pebbles xox

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stcylra
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 6:12am
From what you have said, things are going pretty well as far as getting your marriage back on track. Don't push this. The truth is, he doesn't have to spend ANY time with you EVER. Getting him to spend his Father's Day YOUR way instead of his isn't worth the risk to the "repair" of your marriage.

And just an off-the-cuff suggestion: Examine whether these kinds of demands are at all related to your separation (just a guess, don't be offended).

Lee M.