a few small things...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2005
a few small things...
12
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 2:11pm

So I just had lunch with some friends and we were reminiscing of a dinner we had a couple of years ago, where I basically introduced my now fiancé to all my friends. Anways, they reminded me of how rude he was that night...he interupted all night long, one specific friend. I know he totally rubbed her the wrong way. He can do that. After that night I realised very quickly that I have 2 sets of people in my life. A more quiet, passive type who are non confrontational and then I have the other type who are more open, loud and aggressive. I am quite ok with both types but I'm not sure they all deal well with each other. Anyways, it was an issue that DF was a little abrupt or seemed to not listen to people and would always cut everyone off..i mean he does /did that to me all the time. We've managed to get somewhat of a handle on it - i think.
We have all sorts of little issues...some bigger than others. We are going to couples counselling - and it helps a little. I mean we both bring baggage to this relationship...i definitely do, as does he. We are a newly blended family planning a wedding for next year - just bought a new house, have 2 dogs and 2 teen daughters. Imagine the kafuffle that goes along with all this. Most of the time we barely have time to speak or go out on dates, let alone be romantic and sweet with each other. Our sex life (or rather lack of) is completely getting on my nerves. I tend to want everything working NOW, where he figures day by day things will get better. We talk about the wedding and he sees most of these romantic things as cheesey and something he's NEVER do...

does anyone have any tips or advice for me on this? I'm just feeling overwhelmed a little - i wish for once life would have handed us something easy but we need to work on this relationship especially if hope to acheive what it is i'm looking for.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 6:39pm

There is one thing you both can do starting right now. I encourage you to do it tonight.

Remember to Celebrate!

We're Canadians and as such have so many gifts of life and love. Make the time to celebrate that with your man. This simple and small act ensures something positive happens every single day. By doing this you both make a valuable contribution to your relationship. This is about the better good of your relationship rather than the better good of self. When you accept and celebrate these gifts of life and love, I promise you that you will get more over time.

Now go buy a great bottle of red wine. My personal favorite is Bogle, a Petite Sirah from California ($25 - $30 CDN). Light a candle, turn off the lights and TV. Put on some music and simply let go of everything. Enjoy and celebrate the moment. That moment needs to be cherished as tomorrow it is gone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2005
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 6:44pm

one kid is coming home in 15 minutes and the other one we go get in 2 hours...i did light candles, clean the kitchen and brought up a couple of cold ones. I am going to cherish the few minutes and for this weekend, i've promised myself that i will hold back any critical or questioning comments.

gotta start with something.

thanks - you've inspired me tonight

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