Fiance is a law student...
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| Sun, 09-11-2005 - 11:34am |
Okay, my fiance and I have been together for a little over 5 years now. We have lived together for the past year and will be getting married next June. Recently, he has started law school. Kevin is a full-time legal assistant for his father and is attending night classes. I totally support him being in law school for many reasons, not just the fact that it will help us be more financially stable (I'm a young teacher) in the future. That's great and all, but this is what he really wants to do, so I'm all for it.
However, I'm a little worried about him. My fiance is ADHD, which really isn't a problem and I'm sure he's working around that when he studies. But he gets out of class at either 8 or 8:30pm, depending on what night it is, but he stays at his office studying until 2,3, and once even 4am!!! I know it takes awhile to read all the material, but does it require 6-7 hours A NIGHT every night, including weekend days and nights? I was lucky to get to spend my whole Saturday with him yesterday but he left at 9pm to go study and I had to ask him to come home at 3:30 because I was having difficulty sleeping without him there (the cats were having the same problem...meowing and harassing me because they wanted him to be there, too! It all stopped as soon as he came home!).
I also worry about him being out that late...mainly for safety reasons. We live in downtown OKC, which is quite safe at night, but to get to his office you have to go through a not-so-nice area that often has some scary degenerates around at night. It's only a mile, but a lot can happen at one of those stoplights.
I guess I'm just looking for anyone in a similar situation. I'm doing fine in the evenings--I have lots of time to plan lessons and grade papers, work out, and catch up on the few tv shows I watch AND I can spend time with friends whenever I want. Not that having my fiance at home would ever stop me from doing those things but now I'm less distracted :P But I worry about his health being up for so long and he drinks so much coffee to stay awake to study. No one I know is dealing with a situation like this so I guess I was hoping I can find someone with some advice. All anyone here ever says "He's in law school, what did you expect?" Well, we had expected him to come home between 11-12 not 3-4 at night.
Thanks in advance!

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I have plenty to occupy my waking hours, thank you. That was not my concern. I can handle being alone during the evenings quite well, as I lived alone for quite some time. I was simply worried about his well being if he is out studying until 3 or 4 am and makes it a nightly habit. He goes to work every day at 8am. There just aren't enough hours of sleep with a schedule like that to sustain a person, in my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong, I thought people needed sleep to function.
We talked last night--he finished that game so he won't want to play it for a long time *shrugs* I guess I can't stop him from playing it when he knows he should be studying, but he'll figure it out on his own. In the meantime, I might look into some tylenol pm or something so I can sleep through the night instead of waking up 3-4 times before he even comes home.
Thanks for all your suggestions and advice. I'm really not a neurotic fiance...I was just worried about his health. All that lack of sleep and extra caffeine will probably take it's toll and when he crashes, he'll figure out he should take better care of himself, but I can't do that for him.
I do understand the requirements for law school are very strenuous, don't fool yourself into thinking I'm so naieve that I don't know. I am proud of him for making such a huge decision and sticking with it and being so gung-ho about it. I know it's going to set us up for a nice future, it's just getting through the next 4 years of being together and 3 years of being newlyweds that's going to be tough. But I'm strong, and I have good friends and lots of students who can "occupy my time and attention."
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