First IC meet/STD's?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
First IC meet/STD's?!?!
6
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 8:40pm

I had my first counseling meeting today. It was hard. I cried alot. I basically told her everyhting I've posted here. But it was good talking with her. She recommended I see my physician for some mild anti-depressants. I'm not thrilled about that, but I feel so sad most of the time that I'll consider anyhting at this point.

She also came up with something that I had totally over looked. The possibility of STD's!!!! I've been so focused on everyhting else. She said I can't know for sure that he never had sex with OW, though he swears he didn't, and that she may not have been the only one. So now I'm getting tested on Wednesday. Like I haven't had enough to deal with. STD's...the gift that keeps on giving. Gee, thanks Hon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 10:51pm

Luv2004's previous posts can be found here:


Can't let go
OW update
I've made a positive step forward....








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 10:57pm

Ah yes, the lovely world of STD's. Here's hoping you come up negative for anything and that it's one more bit of ugliness you can put behind you. I'm assuming your emotions here, but why is it that being checked for STD's feels humiliating to you when you've done nothing wrong!?!?!


I'm sure your therapy session was hard; it'll get better. I'm glad it felt good to get it out. When's your next appointment? I don't blame you for not being thrilled about the anti-d's, but if they're mild and temporary and help you get over this hump they'll be a good thing. Here's hoping you're feeling much better soon.


Keep us posted, we care.







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 7:21am

Thanks 2ndlife.

It's not so much I feel "humiliated" about getting checked. I do feel "stupid". Stupid that I trusted him on so many things and getting STD tests only exacerbates that feeling. I know none of this is my fault, but I still feel like an idiot sometimes. FYI...Wednesday (when I get tested) is also "his" birthday. So I'll be sitting in the doctor's office and he'll be having nice day with his new babe.

My next IC appointment is Thursday. She gave me the option of waiting until next week, but I didn't feel like waiting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 8:10am

"FYI...Wednesday (when I get tested) is also "his" birthday. So I'll be sitting in the doctor's office and he'll be having nice day with his new babe."


These are the thought processes that are going to severely hinder your progress.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 11:39am

Thanks Di. These kind of thoughts don't dominate my thinking. They do, however, creep in now and then. I just couldn't help it when I flipped the page in my Daytimer to write in the Dr. appt and saw that I had noted his b'day. Struck me as kind of unfair.

When I do think that way I do remind myself that it's over, but to be honest, I am still having a hard time accepting that. And I'm the one that ended it! I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I would like it not to be.

I guess it's the inequity of the whole situation too. I was a very good GF. I gave him support, space and love. I had given him the "space" he said he needed when he took that trip to visit with his guy friends back home and that's where/when he met the OW. And because of that generosity I'm left with a hole in my life and my heart.

But all this is part of the reason why I sought counseling. I have so much to sort out and I wasn't doing it sucessfully on my own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 11:51am

I know what you are saying.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***