Friend destroying relationship
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Friend destroying relationship
| Thu, 12-14-2006 - 11:19am |
My long term boyfriend and I just recenly bought a house together, a brand new home. We have been living together in total for about 3+ years so this isn't something that is new to both of us. However, I am facing a problem with his friend, and only friend, coming over ever single night of the week. Now him coming over isn't what bothers me because he did this before we moved into the new house, it's the fact that him and his girlfriend come over EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And when they come over they stay for hours on end. This friend of my boyfriends' is a complete slob which is another thing that is bringing me closer to my breaking point, because I am the one who has to clean this mess up (I am a clean freak so I can't go without cleaning it). We have only been moved in since November 1st, and I have counted the number of days his friend hasn't come over excluding the 3 days my boyfriend was out of state on a business trip and it totals up to be 4 days. I feel like not only am I sharing my house with two people that do not live there, but I am also feeling like I have to fight to have some alone time with the man I am living with. I have talked to my boyfriend about this issue, and how it bothers me, and I have approached it from every angle I can possibly think of. He says he understands, or he tries to justify the situation, or he says, "we have a couple hours after we get home before he usually gets here to spend some alone time together."(I feel like I have to schedule my time with him) Well I know it sounds selfish but WHAT ABOUT ME?! You would think that two adults would realize that being a young couple who just bought a brand new home together would probably like to have some alone time. I feel like I am just the maid that walks behind everyone and picks up. He wants me to be more social with these people, however, I don't share the same intrests as them (football) and I am to the point where I am starting to resent them and my boyfriend for not having any nights alone in my own damn house. I have done everything I can think to do at this point, and nothing seems to be working.(even turning on bitch mode and not speaking to any of them to get my point accross) This relationship needs to work, we both love eachother very much and I don't doubt that for one minute. But it is going to start falling apart if we can't have some quality time together without these unwelcomed guests all the time. Can anyone tell me what I can do that might help the situation? I feel if this continues anymore I am going to end up snapping in frustration and lashing out at them. Please help!

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~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
A book that might be good for you to read is "Are You the One For Me?" by Barbara DeAngelis . It's a very insightful book that will teach you a lot about relationships and yourself, whether you're thinking you found the right guy, or whether you're not even looking for a guy at all!
Here's hoping for the best ~ keep us informed and congrats again on standing up for yourself!
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
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