Frustrated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Frustrated!
11
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 12:38am

Hi! My DH and I get along great. We have fun together, and we don't argue about much. He got layed off the first week of December. I got layed off a week later. He stays at home, playing on the computer, and doing whatever, while I hit the town, and applied to everywhere. I got a job by the end of the month as a Parts Sales Manager at an Auto Parts store. He, on the other hand, is still out of a job, and isn't hardly looking. He looks on the internet at MN workforce center almost everyday, and sees jobs, but he doesn't do anything about it!

It's getting frustrating. He knowns I'm frustrated, but I don't bother bugging him about it, because it just makes things worse. It's not that there isn't jobs. He's found some, and even told me about them. I ask if he's going to write the info down, to go or call, and he shrugs, and makes up an excuse and goes on about the what-ifs. He always assumes that the boss will be bad, or he won't like it, or the hours are wrong (I'm talking 1/2 hour off, not a different shift) He's being WAY too picky. He says he needs to visualize himself at a job, and think it over to see if he'd like it. He always comes up with an excuse.

We've been down this road before. When we were dating, he was unemployed for about 4 months. He only got the job he did, because I told him to go in and get an application. Otherwise, his version of going out to look for a job is driving around to find the place, look at the building, decide it's too big/small, hard to get at, what if I have to wait for the left turn light it's by. He doesn't even want to drive 20 minutes across town! He applied for a job on the other side of town, and the place even called and left a message telling him to come for an interview, and he ignored it! He wouldn't answer his phone, because he didn't recognize the number, so I checked the message, and he still wouldn't go! This is so frustrating! We have no health insurance. I should be able to rely on my DH to have a steady job incase something happens. What if I get pregnant? We're screwed! Any suggestions? Thank you for you time.

~Stephanie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 9:10pm

Really great post, Wingblade. The biggest problem she'll face is the enabling part. As long as she's paying the bills he'll be able to struggle along without really paying the full consequences. That's not going to give him huge motivation to become employed and until he does, she's going to suffer until/unless he pulls himself out by working harder to keep herself and him afloat.


Let's hope he's willing to give therapy a try, if he's not willing to help himself, there's not much to be done.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

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