Frustrated housewife
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Frustrated housewife
| Sun, 09-03-2006 - 10:13pm |
Hey everybody,I find myself in a situation that I don't know if I should keep quiet or scream.My husband and I moved to a new neighborhood a couple of years ago.To make a long story short my husband is the type of man that has to be friends with everyone.So he introduced his-self to a couple that lived next door to us at the time.Well i'm not the type of person to just walk right up to someone and start a conversation.Anyway he got to know the couple before I did.Well even though he knew them a little longer than I did he seems to think it makes a big difference.Well needless to say I've decided not to be friends with this couple anymore for many of reasons.#1 I found out a conversation took place behind my back about me.Which put me in an awkward position with this couple.But my darling husband doesn't seem to think so.#2 I also found out that a comment was made about me and my husband didn't come to my defense.So with all that being said I chose to terminate the friendship.My husband is still friends with this couple he invites them to family functions etc.etc.Not caring that it puts me in an awkward position because I've chosen not to be their friend.I'm still courteous when they come around but that's as far as it goes.My question is this do i have the right to be upset with my husband about this?I feel like my feelings don't matter and he cares more about their friendship than our marriage.It really infuriates me to no end.I just want to scream or beat the hell out of something.Anyway if anyone has some kind of advice for me please let me know a.s.a.p.Thanks in advance. Sincerely,Tami

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It's hard to have an opinion about this issue without understanding what it was that your step daughter told the neighbor. It could have been entirely appropriate for her to have spoken to your husband about it rather than you, but without knowing what it was about, it's impossible to say. You may be noticing that detailed explanations work a lot better than abbreviated ones on the boards. When there isn't a lot of information given, it's impossible to form an opinion without making assumptions about the situation, and since assumptions are rarely right, the thoughts and advice you get that are based on assumption usually are wrong, and are very different than what those same people would say if they fully understood.
A couple of things that I don't understand are:
Without knowing more, I'd say it's not okay for your husband to invite people to family events when these are people he knows you are having problems with and don't want to be around. I don't know why he'd want to do that, knowing it would upset you, cause problems in your marriage and ruin the family event for at least you, and probably all involved. It comes down to respect, consideration and communication and compromising with you rather than just going forward without gaining your approval first. I also don't understand why your neighbors would come, even with his invitation, knowing that you would not be happy and presumably that the evening would be uncomfortable and strained for you as well as them. From what I understand so far, I'd say bowing out of the event was your right to do, you can't control what he does, you can only control and make decisions for yourself. You have the right to choose whether or not to attend.
I hope you'll give us more info ~
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
tami-73,
Hi there, I just wanted to comment on a couple of things in your last post.
Defleppardgal
tami-73,
Just another side note.....or two.
<<First of all the conversation that took place.Was basicly about the way I was treating my step-daughter at the time.She was basicly venting her frustrations and getting advice from our neighbor.I admitted that I was in the wrong for my actions toward her.>>
For a moment take a step back and look at the bigger picture of what SHE has been through.
Defleppardgal
tami-73,
I really didn't mean to sound harsh or offend you with my post (or the last one which I'm sure you've read by now I think we posted at the same time) I'm so sorry that it did.
Defleppardgal
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