Frustration

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2002
Frustration
6
Thu, 01-16-2014 - 6:24pm

Hi Everyone, 

Okay, I am a bit frustrated here.  I have notice my boyfriend of 5 years has been acting different.  When we have disagreements, which by the way, we talk everything out, he will state things to me thats not true.  For example:  he did something that made me feel uncomfortable, and I told him about it.  He said he was sorry and he wont do that again.  Then, I dont know what happened but then he said, I guess Im going to go lay on the couch. I said, okay.   He said, is that where you want me?  I said, what?   You go where you want to go. He then stated, I want to go where you want me to go so you will be happy.   I asked him where is this coming from?  I dont get it?  He said, I want to do what makes you happy.  THen I just igorned him and went about my business and he said he will be on the couch until he gets further notice.  Ok, Im confused!! Im very concerned with the way he is acting.  There has been other times, when he would do something and he would deny it.  I dont get it!  Any advice would be great!

Thanks in advance,

CrystalMS

Crystal
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 01-16-2014 - 7:44pm

Do you think this is behaviorial, or are you concerned there is something truly physical going on.  For example, so you think he is hiding something, or do you think there may be something medically wrong?

Serenity

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 01-16-2014 - 11:49pm

I'm confused.  He made you uncomfortable, so you told him about it.  Then he said he'd lay on the couch.  People lay on couches all the time......why is that strange?  And then when you questioned that, he asked if that was where you wanted him........and you said go where you want to go.  You didn't say "NO I don't want you there" so he stayed there.  What is frustrating about that?  I'm assuming that was where he slept......and if you want him back in your bed....then tell him that.  I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2002
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 12:19am
Fissatore, That is not the frustrating part. What is frustrating is many of times he has turn things around on me saying that I have said, this when I never did. Some things he stated is just not like me to say! Two, it feels like he twists things around on me to make me the bad person. That is the frustrating part.
Crystal
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: xxxs
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 6:06pm

 It sounds that there is a problem in communication.  It is almost as if He and you are speaking different dialects.  So misunderstanding get big.  Perhaps counseling can help in communications.  Sometimes people need translators.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: fissatore
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 11:46pm

So you're frustrated at him for other things, not because he decided to sleep on the couch?  He hears what he wants to hear, and maybe you're not making yourself clear to him.  Example:  He said he was going to the couch......you said " go where you want to go".  If you ask him about it later, he'll say you TOLD him to go there.  If you didn't want him to go there, then you should have said THAT......"Dont go there".  So I can see why he doesn't understand you, or he hears what you said, but misunderstands it because you're not clear about what you mean.  As the other person said, you two need some counseling to learn how to communicate properly......it's not only him, it's both of you!

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Mon, 02-10-2014 - 10:14pm

Hi Crystalmsc ~

You say your issue is that he denies things and says things that aren't true, but the example you gave isn't either of those things?  Can you give us an example or two of situations that demonstrate the problem you're having?  Based on the situation you did describe, I have an idea what might be behind it, but won't be at all sure without hearing examples of the situation that you want help with.

I'll be checking back ~


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_