girlfriend is mad

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
girlfriend is mad
12
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 6:31pm
i lost my virginity in january with some girl i wasnt dating. Then i fell in love with my current girlfriend in the end of february. Weve had sex since then, and it was her first time doing everything, but she cant forgive me for having sex with that first girl. She says she doesnt think she will ever forgive me. shes feels like its unbalanced like ive done stuff before us and she hasnt. I dont know what to say anymore. ive said im sorry a million times. Help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 6:41pm
Sorry you have to go through this. First, you have nothing to be sorry for. Your past is your past. If your current girlfriend can't get over it and accept it, then she's not the girl for you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 7:48pm
I agree with itwin... it's ridiculous that she is mad at you for something you did before you two were dating. I mean, is she going to be mad at EVERY non-virgin she dates??
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 10:09pm

Thelonious, first of all, you must stop apologising. You've done absolutely nothing wrong!

You need to take some control back and stop allowing her to treat you like this. I suggest you tell her you've had enough of her behaviour and that she needs to make a choice:

1. accept your past
or
2. move on

Tell her that the subject of your virginity is now closed.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 10:52pm
thanks for the response but I just wanted to add a few things. Shes perfect for me I absolutely know it. But she thinks she's second place and i dont know how to tell her that the first girl really meant nothing without sounding like an a--hole. she feels like "another girl on my list" or something like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:10pm
If she was perfect for you she'd accept you as you are - past included. She'd also know that since we can't change the past there's no point in being upset about it.


When you say you lost your virginity in January, you're talking about last month, aren't you?








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:15pm
no no, a year ago.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:25pm
Were you dating your current girlfriend then? Did you even know her then?








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:29pm
i wasnt dating her but i kinda knew her through friends. when i tell her that that first girl didnt mean anything to me she gets mad and says that she thinks that she'll mean nothing to me if we ever break up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:51pm
Tell her there is nothing you can do to change the past and the past has no business being in your present with her. Tell her you can't change what she thinks, she can either accept you as you are or not, there are no other options. Really, Thelonious, it's ridiculous. Stop telling her anything about it, tell her the subject is closed and mean it. I'm guessing you're in high school and this is a teenager girl drama thing. It sure sounds like it. It sounds like she's playing it to watch you fall over yourself trying to prove to her how much you care about her, how much she'll always mean to you, etc., etc. It'll never end because you can't prove intangible things to her. Tell her you're done with the subject and mean it.


This is a good place to learn a lesson from. Your past is your past and is no one else's business. Telling a current girlfriend what you've done sexually with whom, or with how many, is a mistake. Those who ask for it are the least able to handle the answer.








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:57pm
thank you for all your help

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