Handling someone with the communication skills of a 6-year old
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|Mon, 09-17-2012 - 4:14pm|
I need to find a new way to deal with my boyfriend when he is mad because no matter what I do it never works. Whenever my boyfriend gets mad at me he becomes someone I don't know. He gives me the silent treatment, acts like I don't exist, and treats me meanly and coldly. And the most annoying thing he does is to NOT tell me why he is mad at me. When I ask he either gives me a look like "You should know" or gives a sarcastic laugh and says "Nothing, I'm fine". it drives me crazy! Yes sometimes I can tell what made him mad, but a lot of the times I won't even know what I did wrong to upset him! It's the most frustrating thing. And he stays mad for HOURS. We don't fight much but when he does get mad at me it drags out for days because of how he acts. I beg him to tell me what wrong and it usually ends with him yelling at me to leave him alone or ignoring everything I say to the point that I'm crying. Then after a couple of days of him ignoring me, it being awkward he finally starts showing emotion again and we don't discuss the original reason for his anger. Clearly the asking/begging technique isn't working. Sometimes I try to act like nothing is wrong and then he acts really mean. Like I'll try and cuddle like "It's fine" (like he claims he is) and he will say "Get off me" or push me away. I try to talk to him and he barely acknowledges me. That technique doesn't do anything but upset me more because he is being mean. I think he has communication issues (due to how his mom treated him as a child) but I need help with dealing with this! How should I handle him when he is mad? It's like when he is angry he just wants us to both be miserable for as long as possible. I ask him whats wrong and he yells at me or ignores or acts like I should know. I'm no mind reader. I just really need suggestions on how to handle him.
Currently we are fighting and I don't know if I should text him first after the harsh way he is treating me. We share a car so I am going to have to talk to him today to negotiate the car but I just am sick of when we fight it going this way and I need to change it. HELP!