has to know how many men I've been with

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2006
has to know how many men I've been with
10
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 1:51pm
Edited 3/25/2006 12:43 am ET by lagirl_2006


Edited 3/28/2006 8:46 pm ET by lagirl_2006
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 6:53pm

<>

Complex is not the word I would have picked.

It gets down to this.... Do you want your sons to turn out just like this man? As he is now?

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 7:03pm

A few months into a relationship is very early for even contemplating marriage/children. Instead of auditioning for wife/motherhood roles you need to spend a solid block of time learning who he is and being who you are. The wife/mother roles will fit if you and he fit together. I'll be a good year before you really know who he is and versa visa, slow down.


The fact that he's asking for personal information that is none of his business, then not believing your answers is an indicator this isn't a guy you'd want for a relationship, never mind a husband/father. The fact that at the two month mark (when things are at their easiest and simplest) that you're being doubted and that you say he's the most complex man you've ever met are not good indicators of the future, they're big red warning flags.


The relationship has to be right before the roles will fit. You're building a house without a foundation.







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 1:45am
Yikes! All this and you've only been dating for two months? This guys got major issues and you've only just scratched the surface. I hope you see that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 10:32am
Oops, I said you'd been together two months when what you said was *several* months. Sorry about the mistake, but what I said still applies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 8:44pm

Too bad you already told him - been there, done that, I would have told him to 'drop dead' but that's my truth in hindsight.

If he thinks you are hiding something, then he doesn't trust you and that's not a relationship worth having.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 10:47pm

I made the same mistake as you, Marcy. And I agree, it doesn't change anything else.








~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 9:00am
Dito to everything everyone else said. What kind of man wants to know that number anyway. Well give him mines when he starts to doubt you next time........150 and tell hime his number 149 if you want your rating too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 10:25am
im almost 34 and ive had 9 people including my SO
i consider myself experiances in that i know what i want, like to please my partner and am willing to learn what it takes.
i would be rethinking this relationship if i was you..doesnt sound like a trusting man you have......just my opinion!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:57pm
a few months is NOT so uncommon, my parents met and married in 7 months- 38 years ago- and my Mom was not pregnant, so have several of my friend's parents within 1 year. what has surprised me is the venom and seemingly anti-man attitude the women that have responded to my post, which is why I have erased the meat of the message!
I realize message boards is NOT how I should be getting my advice-it should be from people who know and love either me or both of us and know the true and total context of our relationship-even if it doesn't work out!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:14pm

We're so anti-men that most of us are married and have been for quite some time.

If you want your advice from people who are there and have investment in the relationship, that is your right. Good luck to you.

Jen