KarlaCommunity Moderator, iVillage.com
Get rid of him NOW! I dated a guy like that and he is never going to change. You are just going to keep justifying his actions, and he is going to keep "trying to make it up". Believe me, there are plenty of guys out there that will dedicate time to you and open up to you,
Good point, Memphisstars2004. a lot of people somehow equate "love" with "change".
I was with a guy for six years who did all these things.
DITCH him .. he is a flirt and he is stringing on a LOT of women ...
Another piece of advice: Any time a guy says he is meeting a 'friend' , it is a girl.
Really great post, I_dontknow.
Hi, I wasn't sure if I should post because I'm not the most enlightened person when it comes to relationships, but I decided it was worth to tell you a bit about my previous experience.
I was married for almost 15 years with a man I met in college. He was my best friend and the only constant in my life.
He was also eager for female attention, verbally and emotionally abusive, physical at times. He always said he loved me and I always believed him. When he was good he was great and all I wanted was a happy family. He started doing things behind my back and lying to me even before we got married and never stopped. He had affairs; they started out as IM messages, texts, "lunches" at work, emotional affairs, "working late", and as we went through the marriage it got worse and worse.
Everytime I saw him being a bit too close with someone from work I wondered if I was too jealous. I had never been jealous before. *I* ended up being a person I did not want to be.
Each time he lied or decieved me in some way we would have an argument, a talk, and he would say the right thing. I would believe him and I would wait for things to get better.
He was my best friend, he knew who I was and I knew him, we loved each other, no one would ever love me like he did, we surely would find a way to make it work, right?
I hoped that he would learn and change. He never did. He never will. But I couldn't bring myself to leave him, even when I became depressed and suicidal. I went to therapy but I didn't want it when it became obvious he was the origin of my depression.
But we had children, and they needed me, I had to protect them from the screaming and name calling, so we separated.
It was so difficult. Even then I thought he was my best friend. It sounds so stupid now that he's completely out of my life, but it made perfect sense then.
I had to learn to live my life from zero. I had to learn to trust people again, I'm still trying to figure out what's normal for men to do and what's not. I feel I wasted so much of my life waiting for him to change, adjusting to his ways, changing ME so I could still love HIM, when I should have respected myself and tried to find someone who would respect me too.
I understand not liking the technology, but the technology isn't to blame here.