He Can't Keep A Job...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2006
He Can't Keep A Job...
13
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 7:31pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now, living together for over 1 year. He has had 4 jobs in the time I have known him and it wasn't until I was with him for awhile that I found out this has been a reoccuring pattern in his life. I spoke to him on the phone today from work and he indicated to me that his time at his current job will soon come to an end. Although I know that this is really not his fault and it is out of his hands, I still said to him that he cannot keep a job. He got very angry with me. I've told him time and time again that stability is very important to me. My parents both have steady long term jobs, I myself have had only 2 jobs in my lifetime and I left the first for a better position. My boyfriend only finds work because he looses the last job. He finds work quickly, but this is still uncomfortable for me. I need to be stable and know what is coming. I want him to contribute. I feel like I'm burdened with him moving from job to job, because it seems like it could end in the blink of an eye, so unexpectedly. I could end up being the only income and for even just a few days would be too much for us. We're just making ends meet enough as it is.

How the hell can I make him see that it is important that he keeps his job? How do I get him into a job that he likes so he will stay? It seems like when he tries something he says he will like, he ends up HATING it after only a few months. He always comes home and gripes about how awful it was, how poopy his boss is. Then he says "oh you're so lucky you work for a good company" Yes, I am fortunate that I have a good job, but it has its stresses too, my boss can be very frustrating at times, but I don't let it rule my life. I'm so worried.

Now he wants to go to school for another career. It's a brief course with a good hiring rate at the end, very promising. However, how the hell do I know that he's not going to be disatisfied with this job too? This whole thing could just be a waste of money. Things could be extra tight for no reason at all. And after I told him he cannot keep a job he tells me that I'm the one holding him back!!! after I told him last week to just go ahead and enroll in the course, HE TELLS ME I'M HOLDING HIM BACK!? I had to hang up the phone at that point. I'm not putting up with that crap....

grrrr....I'm so frustrated. What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 11:02pm

Even if he gets a steady job, that is no guarantee that you will be able to reach your goals.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 6:59pm
Man solid advise here on all points.
I have been married now for 23 years and have 3 kids. But i must make a confession here.
The first 10 years of our marrage were pure hell for us.. As I to bounced jobs all to often.. We have lost 2 homes during our marrage and have struggled horribly to keep our heads above the water.. We have distroyed our credit not due to carelesness but through just not having enough money to pay our bills. But we stuck together and we have finnaly turned hte corner as both have stable long term jobs.. I would want no one to go through that.
But at the same time until I found my place in the world it was pure hell for us.
So there is always a chance that you relationship will turn out ok. But there is still a chance the you will be forever held back in your plans and goals you have made for yourself.
Good Luck.. Hdog
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:46pm
Your boyfriend is exactly like I am. I have job jumped for the last 7 years.I have no idea how my husband has done it! I finally went to a career cousellor because I had no clue what I was good at or what I wanted to do with my life. With my first husband , I lived my life for him and made his business dreams come true. My second husband asked me what my passion was that I wanted to do as a job. I HAD NO IDEA!
Suggest a career cousellor to help your boyfriend find his niche.There are evaluations online you can do to show you what your personality,skills and education allows you to do for a job. Your boyfriend will use you as the excuse for his lack of success. God bless my husband! I had to get my act together myself. Financially it is very difficult as you to know to go buy anything because of the instabilty of your boyfriend's employment. You feel like your being jipped or taken for granted. I have talked extensivly to hubby. I now apologize for not having my act together.

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