He isnt working/Im getting MAD

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
He isnt working/Im getting MAD
3
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 1:52pm

Quick background. BF and I have lived together for 2 years. He has had a job the whole time. He worked for a landscaping business up until April 4th. Every winter he would get laid off until end of March. So really he hasnt worked since January. April 4th his boss called him and said that he didnt have the contracts he thought he would and he was going to lay bf off until that happened. That could be months, consindering we live in a small town.

The PROBLEM:

BF has recieved unemployment since January and will have it through June. His thinking this winter was "Im getting unemployment so I am contributing" Well thats great but #1 the money isnt that much! #2 Just because he is getting a check doesnt mean he should sit his butt on the couch all day! UGH

Now since April 4th he has not looked for another job. His thinking (never said it to me) "Well Im getting paid until June to do nothing so I will just take advantage of that" This IRRITATES me because I go to work everyday! He needs to do the same.

A friend of mine told him he could get bf a job at the prison as a gaurd(which he has a great chance of getting because of the friend and his military background) but this position isnt open until the end of June. I dont think he should completly rely on this, there is a possibility, as with everything, that this could fall through. So my feelings are: Go look for a job, find something to do to bring in some income here! I am getting so MAD at him because of this whole situation.

I have 2 children to support and a house payment and bills. His extra $265 every TWO weeks isnt helping out a whole lot!

I have not confronted him about this as I dont want him to feel worthless or start a fight. I have made several comments that maybe he could do some odd jobs for friends and family to make some money before he gets this new job at the prison. I dont know what to do anymore. All I know is Im angry with this sitaution and it isnt helping with our relationship. What can I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 4:38pm

Welcome to the board, Dontluvit ~


I can sympathize with your situation and your feelings, it's pretty difficult to live in a situation that you don't approve of.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 9:06am
After you move out (or move him out) resolve never to subject your children to this situation again. It isn't fair to bring some guy into the home, let your children bond with him, and then find out that he has serious character issues.
Next time, date. Live separately with your children, but date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 3:26pm

ivdarian,

I said we have been living together for 2 years. I didnt say I moved him in and then found this out. We have been together since my children were young. 2 & 3, they are now 6 & 7. We dated for 2 years before we moved in together. So I dont think I have *subjected* my children to anything. Im not a man hopper! My children are very attached to him as he is also attached. They dont see their biological father, his choice. SO I DID DATE...