He made plans with his baby momma

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
He made plans with his baby momma
5
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 3:39pm

My boyfriend and I live together (4 months) and he has 2 kids (ages 4 & 7) with his ex-gf. Today he tells me that his ex and the kids want to take him out to dinner for his birthday on Sunday. I'm upset that he didn't speak to me first to see if I had planned anything for him. He simply told me he was going out to dinner with them.

I know it is good that he keeps a friendly relationship with his ex for the sake of his kids but I believe this goes a little too far. Oh yeah, it also takes him 2-3 hours to drop his kids off after we have them for the weekend.

Am I just being crazy or do I have a right to be upset? Or worried?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 4:08pm

How long have you been together?

This is the way he lives his life... You can feel whatever way you want about it, but that doesn't mean he's going to change his life for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 11:08pm

I think you need to decide whether you can live with his friendship with his ex for the sake of his kids. I would be uncomfortable with the fact that he takes 2 to 3 hours to just drop off the kids and didn't include you in the birthday dinner. If you suspect something is still going on between them, I'd get out of the relationship ASAP.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Tue, 12-07-2010 - 2:14am

Welcome to the board, Tellmethetruth ~

I too wonder how long you've been together and also agree that the bottom line is this is how he chooses to handle things, you can accept it or move on because this is what his choice is.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 1:38pm

I don't see what he needs to celebrate with them without you there!

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 12-08-2010 - 9:08pm

Your family including everyone to family events is a good thing, it's great when families maintain a relationship with the exes! It's especially good for any kids who are involved.

I would generally agree with you that this girlfriend might have been included, but the relationship is only four months old; it hasn't been going long enough to be appropriate to include events with the kids.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_