he tells me to tell him what/how Im f...
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he tells me to tell him what/how Im f...
| Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:01am |
he tells me to tell him what/how Im feeling but when I do it just pisses him off
- I flat out tell him how I feel even though it makes him mad
- I sugar coat how Im feeling
- I dont tell him how I really feel
- Tell him what he wants to hear
- Let him know what he does
- Avoid it all together
You will be able to change your vote.

Mandy, I can't comment without more information from you.
Specificially - What are you feeling? Why are you feeling that way? And why is he mad?
For example, if you were *irrationally* jealous and carrying loads of baggage I'd tell you to keep the issues to yourself and seek counselling. But if you were upset because he's out drinking four nights per week and leaving you with the baby, I'd say something completely different.
Know what I mean?
I agree with Aisha, a problem issue really isn't a good fit for a poll, there are too many variables and no information with which to form an opinion. You may get results, but they'll be absolutely meaningless in your situation because the results will all be based on the poll-takers assumption of what the situation is. Furthermore, it's very likely that the answer I think may be the correct one is one you didn't include.
I hope you'll post a new post, explaining your issue fully so we can understand the situation and offer you thoughts and suggestions that are based on your actual situation.
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
I can certainly see where your boyfriend is coming from. A relationship without communication is not a relationship!
However, I cannot comment on your boyfriend getting upset because it all depends on what the issue is. He may be totally justified at getting upset with you (if you're being unreasonable) or he may not be justified at all.
Can you give some examples of the type of issues that you raise which cause him to be upset?
I'd like at least one example of an issue too, so we can see how it goes. I have one other question too, how are you with conflict generally? Are you okay with having verbal disagreements with people?
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Mandy, in the first situation you describe, it's easy to understand that your boyfriend's ego could get bruised; he may feel that he doesn't turn you on, however, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be honest with him. Perhaps you need a different way to tell him you're not in the mood, and perhaps he needs a better method of approaching you. Since you haven't told us what's said or how sex is approached, it's impossible to know.
In the second situation you describe, your boyfriend is being a complete jerk. He has no right to expect you to sit there and watch him while he plays. Great that he "wants to be with you", he can just as easily stop playing his game and go watch TV with you. The reality is that a relationship is about respecting both partners, and he's not respecting you when he expects you to sit and watch him. He should be perfectly okay with you going off and doing your own thing, after all, he's doing his own thing. If this is an example of how he typically expects you to be, it's not okay.
What would happen if when he flies off and starts yelling you said, "I thought you wanted me to tell you what I thought?"
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"