He threw out my magazines without asking me!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2011
He threw out my magazines without asking me!!!
11
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 3:21pm

I'm a unabashed magazine aficionado and I tend to subscribe and acquire alot of magazines. Guilty as charged, I'm not good about reading them right away and throwing them out, but I do eventually get around to reading them.


Well my husband the other day was looking for something in our home office and I guess out of frustration of not finding what he was looking for, he threw out a bunch of my magazines. Granted, some of them were from earlier this year, but others were the June issues of many of my favorite magazines.

Suffice it to say, I felt violated and angry, and he knew that and felt sorry. But I was REALLY angry and I don't think even expressing myself to him will make me feel any better. I ended up canceling most of my magazine subscriptions today because I feel like he'll throw them out even before I have a chance to read them.

Am I unreasonable for feeling this way? I don't want to blow things out of proportion and this could seem perfectly silly to others but I always appreciate the perspective of others.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 5:36pm

I too would be

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 6:08pm

Well in my opinion it is times like these where a relationship blooms or fades.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 1:49am

I don't think you are wrong in feeling violated and angry, not at all, but I do think cancelling your subscriptions is pretty extreme - assuming this hasn't been a problem before?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 6:02am
I think cancelling your magazine subscriptions was a bit of an overreaction. It's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. You're the only one loosing out.

You have the right to feel upset that he did not respect your personal property - I would be too - but equally, you need to remember that the two of you share your living space and I'm not sure you're being very respectful of that. It sounds like he just got frustrated by how cluttered your magazines were making his living space and I can understand that. I know I get really annoyed with my husband when he leaves lots of clutter around. Granted, he still shouldn't have thrown the magazines out - he should have talked to you about it and asked if you could find a better way to store the magazines. But what's done is done - all you can do is work on how to avoid this in the future.

So maybe you need to get more organized with your magazines - get some boxes or baskets to store them in, maybe one for "unread" magazines and one for "read" (or just keep on top of throwing them out when you're finished with them). If they are not cluttering his (and your) living space and making it difficult for him to find things, he won't get frustrated with them. If you respect that the home is also his living space and you can't just treat it as only yours then he will probably respect your personal property in the future.

I also agree with the other responses that you should talk to him about it. There seems to be a lack of communication between both of you - he threw out the magazines without talking to you about the issue first and now you don't want to talk to him about your anger over it. I would say something like "You disrespected my personal property by throwing out my magazines but I realize now you may have been feeling like I was not respecting your living space. I am going to get them more organized so hopefully this won't be an issue again but in the future, if I'm doing something that is bothering you, please just speak to me first so we can work it out."
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 9:33am

I made a mistake. I threw out newer magazines with ones that were mixed in with other magazines 1 year old or older.

We struggle with clutter as my partner struggles with diagnosed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 9:46am

I was going to ask, just how many magazines do you have?

Having grown up with a Dad who tends to keep EVERYTHING.

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Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 1:05pm
I suspected there might have been a hoarding problem which is why I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. I can understand your frustration - while I don't live with a hoarder, I do live with a lazy slob, lol. I hope you two can continue to work on the problem and improve things because it sounds like you are very dedicated to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 4:01pm

Thanks to everyone for your helpful insight. I was really, really angry, but I

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 11:18pm

You could read a lot of the magazines on line--at least then you won't have the clutter (said from a person who is also addicted to magazines so I know how they can add up--plus I'll go to the book store & read a lot for free.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 11:36pm

But it's suggested that this isn't *just* about a spending addiction, it's about hoarding as well.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_

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