He's not the snoop; I am.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
He's not the snoop; I am.
2
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 8:36pm
Thank you for the advice - I appreciate it.


Edited 7/17/2006 8:03 am ET by caffeinemachine
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 9:29pm

Have you ever tried therapy?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:19am

Caffinemachine, you've identified a very long standing problem in yourself and you recognize that it is causing problems in your life. The very fact that you've had this problem for many years says you need to get the help of a therapist to address it and leave it behind. Continuing with the problem will only mean continuing to have your relationships and your life affected by it. Time to deal with it so you can move on without it.


With your boyfriend, it seems pretty obvious that he is trying to hide something, and really, sending inappropriate messages to another woman is a pretty big indicator that there are some significant problems, don't you think? His continuing to delete his messages seems to indicate that he knows what he's sending and receiving is inappropriate. It may also mean that he suspects you've been checking and is ensuring that you won't be able to find anything. Sending a message then checking throughout the night for a response is a pretty big indicator that he's got more than a casual interest in this person. So what are you going to do? Continue to snoop to see what else you can uncover or confront the issue, admitting what you saw? Continuing to snoop will only keep your problem more active. Confronting the issue may end your relationship (snooping may be a deal breaker), but you'll have confronted the issue and admitted your actions in an honest manner. I'm also thinking that whatever he tells you, the circumstantial evidence points pretty strongly to something going on.







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"